Until Dawn Breaks
by Pimino
Summary: Something peculiar has fallen over Mikey. It haunts his dreams at night, leaving him paranoid and fretful at day. However, as the horrific nightmares rage on for weeks on end, he comes to realize they are signs; messages only he can receive. But the question is, what are they trying to tell him? {Rated T for language and disturbing scenes. Brotherly fluff included.}
1. Mask

**A/N**

**Whoop whoop! Another glorious story! It might be awhile for the next chapter, but hopefully this one will hold you all over..**

**Until then, please enjoy this new story!**

**(and yes, I know that I do focus on Mikey a lot in my stories. I adore that little goofball!)**

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_"No.. No! Stop! Please!"_

_The desperate, unfamiliar voice rips through the air, sending shivers down Mikey's spine. He flips around in the darkness that envelopes him as he frantically searches for the source of the distressed cries for help. A deep silence then follows the scream, leaving the youngest brother alone in the darkness. Anxious, the orange-banded turtle begins to walk forward inch by inch. There is no path to guide him, and no light to lead the way. He is trapped in this dark wormhole, and there is no exit whatsoever. He picks at his thumbs in front of him, his baby blue eyes wide with terror and his breathing picking up along with his heartbeat._

_Suddenly, he feels a force push against him and holding him back. Beginning to struggle, Mikey gives a few grunts of effort as he attempts to push forward, but to no avail. The invisible figure is stronger – and it's going to do whatever it wants with the defenseless turtle._

_Mikey tenses as he feels hot breath on his neck. There is a tight grasp on his forearms, holding him in place against his will. Sweat beads begin to form on his head as he listens to the sharp inhales and exhales of the see-through person._

**_"__… no__."_**

_"N-No, what?" Mikey stammers, feeling his heart leap to his throat. He swallows it back down as he intensely listens to the gasping figure._

**_"_**_**No!"**_

_Mikey jumps and falls back with a yelp at the screamed word, his limited eyesight covered completely by darkness. The ghastly voice rings through him as he reaches up to his face and rips off the blindfold that slapped against him. A drip of sweat manages to fall from his face and to the ground while his body shudders with every breath. He opens his mouth to yell for help, to ask if anyone is there, to question where he is. But only an enraged wheeze escapes, trapping the frightened soul inside of his own body._

_Not knowing what else to do, the youngest turtle pulls his knees to his chest as he curls down on the floor. He is alone in this hellish place, and no one is here to guide him through it. Hot, helpless tears spring to the corners of his eyes, but he wipes them away with the cloth he grasps in his hand. Aware of the material that was previously blinding him, Mikey glances down at it. He stops breathing._

_It's Leo's mask._

_A sinister laugh comes from behind him, and Mikey darts his head around in terror. But before he can see anything, his vision goes black._

_o-o-o_

He bolts up in of bed with a small cry of shock. His head faint with the inadequate amount of sleep he managed to grasp, he glances around his dim yet comforting room. The familiar surroundings help him relax as he reaches up to massage his sore, burning throat.

_Was I screaming?_

He wipes away the cold sweat on his forehead and takes in a shuddering breath. The third day. This is the third day that his peaceful sleep has been haunted by the eerie dreams that creep into his head. He doesn't know how, or even _why, _but all he knows is that they aren't changing for the good in any way. In fact, they are only gradually becoming worse.

Pounding footsteps can be heard running down the hallway, and immediately, Mikey tenses up in terror. His breaths come in hiccups as he listens to the approaching monster. Is he still dreaming? As the footsteps come closer, the frightened turtle slouches down in his bed. He pulls the covers up around his head with shaky hands, squeezing his eyes shut as tight as possible.

"No, no, go away, no, I'm awake, you aren't supposed to be here!" he whispers, his voice cracking slightly. He hears his door open with an unnerving, spread-out squeal echoing throughout the small room. Afraid that his intruder can hear his pounding heartbeat, Mikey holds in his breath while his body shakes in convulsions. He can't be dreaming, he just woke up, he should stop being targeted by all these monstrosities!

Finding his voice, Mikey stutters out, "G-Go away, please, just let me sleep!"

Silence.

Then, a warm hand finds his quivering back, and Mikey whips out of bed without even thinking. A dark figure looms over him, sending a spark of panic and fear throughout his entire body. Without a moment's hesitation, Mikey swings his arm around and knocks back the intruder with a grunt of effort. The ominous figure stumbles backwards, a loud groan escaping it's mouth.

"Just go away!" Mikey fretfully shrieks out. He jumps out of the bed, ready to make a beeline for the door, but is cut short by his foot which is entangled with his bed sheets. Clumsily, he falls to the ground face forward with a grunt.

_This is it! The monster can catch me now! Oh my god, what am I going to do?_

"**Help! Leo, Donnie, help me!**" Mikey screams out through the hushed lair. He senses a pair of hands grab the back of his shell, and he urgently begins to struggle, "**Let go of me! Please! HELP!**"

But before the beast can pick him up and drag him away for dinner, Mikey sees Raph and Donnie stumble in the doorway. Fearfully, Donnie flicks on the light and pulls out his staff. The light floods into his watering eyes, but it doesn't erase the desperation in Mikey's actions. He gives out a harsh cry, kicking his legs as he glances up at his two speechless brothers from the floor. They look beyond their youngest brother, puzzlement on their faces. What are they waiting for?

As if the nighttime burglar just now sees the two older brothers, it drops it's hands. Frantically scrambling, Mikey pulls out his leg from it's trap and crawls towards Raph and Donnie with tears in his eyes. He puts his face into Donnie's shins and begins to gently weep. Where were they, and why aren't they attacking?

Gently, he feels Donnie crouch down and put a hand on his shell. Perplexed, Mikey looks up at him with a blur in his vision. His brother's staff is put back around his back, and he is gazing at him with a worried expression.

"W-Why aren't you attacking-g him?" Mikey hiccups as he wraps his arms around his brother and tucks his head next to his plastron. He listens to the steady heartbeat of Donnie, and eventually his own matches up with it. Mikey buries his head even deeper into his older brother, his breaths still exhaling in small gasps. He just wants this madness to end; he just wants the nightmares to leave and let him get a good night's rest!

"We can't attack Leo for no apparent reason, Mikey," Donnie gently soothes as he runs his hand up and down Mikey's back, "It's okay, he's not going to hurt you."

"Wait.. Leo?" Mikey whimpers as he releases his brother and turns around. He feels like he was just slapped in the face as he looks at his eldest brother. Leo stands with one hand on the side of his jaw, gently kneading it. His sapphire eyes are filled to the brim with complete uneasiness as he gazes at his youngest brother.

Giving out a sigh, Leo drops his hand and walks over to Mikey to sit down next to him. Mikey wipes the tears from his eyes as he focuses his gaze from Leo to Raph, who is standing with a silent scowl on his face. His arms are tightly crossed and his eyes show no warmth as he frowns at his three brothers huddled on the floor.

"I just.. I don't understand why we are being forced to rush to this idiot's room every night for no apparent reason!" Raph seethes out, glaring down at them. Mikey melts underneath his burning eyes, and looks towards the ground in shame. He can't help it; these dreams are only getting worse.

"Raph, come on, don't say that," Leo says with an edge to his voice, "If Mikey needs us, then we will always be there."

"Yeah, but at three in the morning?" Raph exclaims as he juts a finger out to a glowing alarm clock. "If you ask me, Mikey shouldn't 'need' us until _after _breakfast!"

"Good thing no one is asking you," Donnie shoots as he meets his hotheaded brother's demanding glare.

Mikey gives out a small whimper at their harsh words, which pulls Leo's attention back to him.

"Mikey, it was just a dream," he begins as he continuously rubs his back, "It wasn't real. I'm sorry I scared you, but at least I know that you are capable of protecting yourself if something really does happen.."

Mikey looks up to watch Leo rub the side of his face with a wince. As he does, a pang of guilt races through him. These nightmares are messing with his head..

"Sorry, Leo.. I didn't know it was you.." he mumbles remorsefully. But instead of anger, Leo only gives him a slight smile and a pat on the back before standing up. He reaches his hand down and Mikey clasps it with his own with a weak grin. As Leo pulls him up, Mikey swallows down his fear. His brothers are always here to protect him, no matter what happens.

_Well, at least two of them are, _Mikey wonders as his gaze shifts over to a certain turtle.

"Well, now that that's over," Raph yawns as he stretches his arms to the ceiling, "I think I'm gonna go back to sleep, like I'm _supposed_ to be doing at three in the morning!"

"You are so heartless, Raph," Donnie mutters as they turn and walk out the doorway.

"What? I'm just sayin'.."

The mumbled argument gets quieter and quieter as Leo slurs something inaudible and turns to follow his brothers.

"Just try and get some sleep, okay?" he suggests as he reaches the doorway. Mikey gives a slight nod before climbing into bed as his brother flicks off the light and closes the door. He listens as his leader's soft footsteps walk down the hall and eventually fade away before the sound of a clicking lock fills the silent air.

Mikey stares at the empty ceiling, willing himself to sleep, but he knows he can't. The nightmares will return, and his brothers will have to kick down the door once again.

He whimpers as he pulls the bed sheets closer to his chin. The images of tonight's horrendous dream fill his eyes, and he snaps them shut. But the picture of the blue mask and the screams of the desperate person still wrap around his head, not wanting to be forgotten. The horrid hallucinations that have been haunting his sleep for the past three nights have been highly unexpected and out of the ordinary. It seemed to come out of the blue, and no one had an explanation for it. It started with one bad dream, and no one thought anything of it. But as the days – or nights – progressed, it was obvious that this wasn't right. However, the youngest turtle hasn't been doing anything out of the ordinary recently; just some Kraang, a few Foot-Bots here and there, some measly Purple Dragons – nothing too abnormal.

Donnie had told him on the second dreadful night that all dreams had meaning, whether it be what your brain wants to happen or what it thinks will happen. And so far, all of Mikey's dreams have been about.. Leo. They are subtle hints, such as the mask or his voice in the distance, but the orange-clad turtle knows a riddle when he sees one. He also knows that he doesn't _want_ his beloved older brother to get hurt, but he can't do anything when his brain thinks he _might_. However, he finds this odd, because he has no reason as to think that Leo is going to get hurt – or worse.

_So why won't my head let me sleep? _Mikey thinks as he curls up into a tight ball. He flicks open his heavy eyes and glances at the clock. 3:28. He sighs. Training isn't until 6:00.

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**A/N**

**Reviews are welcomed with open arms and keep me going !**

**But please, no flames.**

**Mwah.**


	2. Figures

**A/N**

**Honestly, the dream that Mikey has in this chapter couldn't get any better - in my opinion, of course.**

**Thank you guys so much for the positive feedback! You have no idea how much it impacts me.**

**And I don't know why I decided to upload this chapter about a day early. I just thought that it was a good one. Hmph, oh well.**

**Anyways, enjoy this chapter my beloved readers !**

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The blue is distracting.

It tears the youngest turtle's attention away at any chance it gets. That sapphire color that wraps around the head of his leader. The way it had blinded him, leaving him helpless within his own mind. The way he had yanked it off. The way it had rested in his hands as realization hit him. The tone that the laugh behind him had barked out in.

The blue is blinding.

It's impossible to ignore.

"Michelangelo!"

The orange-clad turtle snaps back to attention. His dull eyes gaze around the room as he takes notice of his curious brothers and curt sensei. The bags underneath his drained eyes seem to weigh him down, but he quickly blinks before he can drops to the ground in exhaustion.

"I-I'm sorry, Sensei. What?" he mumbles, his face turning the slightest shade of pink.

Splinter raises a questioning eyebrow at his youngest turtle as he replies, "Is something the matter, my son?"

"What? No, no, I'm perfectly fine. Why?" Mikey manages to respond. But his exhausted, croaking voice gives him away, and he mentally curses his throat. Why can't it just cooperate?

"Hm. Very well. Get into position for defensive training," Splinter obliviously replies as he turns and walks back towards the seemingly impossible tree that sprouts out of the dojo ground.

Obeying his master, Mikey walks over to stand his ground next to Raph. Leo is on the other side of the room, directly across from the orange-banded turtle while Donnie stands openly in front of Raph.

"For this exercise," Splinter begins as he examines the four turtles, "you will be.."

Mikey is soon to block out his master's words, however. The gleaming blue on Leo's mask pulls him back into the hypnotic state he was captured in previously. What does it mean? Why wasn't it Donnie or Raph's mask? Or his own, for a matter of fact? But then again, all of his nightmares involved Leo in one way or another..

Mikey visibly shudders as the flowing memories of the multiple nights' dreams spring back into his head. They always had the poor turtle crying out for help, which leads to his brothers knocking down his door. It isn't healthy – even Mikey can see that. But he still turns to his dearest yet genius brother for some official guidance. Although Donnie repeatedly tells him that it's only a dark phase he's passing through, Mikey sees it as much more. He sees it as.. as.. well, what are they?

Suddenly, a metallic glint in front of Mikey pulls him from the depths of his mind and back to reality. He realizes that it's only Leo's eyes shining with worry as the youngest brother continuously stares at him.

Feeling slightly awkward, the orange-banded turtle gives a small yet goofy smile to his eldest. But before Leo can even respond, Splinter yells out.

"Hajime!"

Suddenly, Mikey's heart drops. A large lump forms in his throat as Leo begins to rush towards him, his sword aimed for the center of his plastron. He wasn't listening – what is he supposed to do?!

Waiting until the last second, Mikey whips out his nunchucks and slaps the katana out of his brother's hand instinctively. Then, sweeping the floor with his legs, the clueless ninja takes down his dumbfounded brother with a loud _thunk._

A heavy, uncomfortable silence fills the air as Leo sits back up in unease. Slowly, Mikey lowers his nunchucks and hangs them by his sides where they belong. Splinter, Raph, and Donnie all give him an interrogative look, making Mikey shift once or twice on his feet. Then, standing back up, Leo's voice breaks through the fragile air.

"What are you doing, Mikey? We're working on dodging, not attacking!"

"…oh," Mikey shamefully states, looking down at his feet. Once again, he feels the tempting lull of sleep ring around the corner of his eyes, but he quickly dismisses it. The peer pressure is almost too much for the youngest turtle, as it's really the only thing keeping him awake at this point.

"Michelangelo," Splinter says, stepping forward. "What is clouding your mind?"

This time, Mikey hesitates as he swallows hard. How he wishes he could just blurt out the horrific images that haunt him both day and night. But he knows that that isn't a suitable excuse for his actions. Splinter won't accept it. Besides, it's not like his brothers and master will understand.

"I, uh, just don't.. feel good," he finishes after a few long moments. "Maybe ate a slice or three more pizzas than usual last night, I guess."

"We didn't have pizza last night," Raph responds, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

_Great, you can always count on Raph to ruin everything, _Mikey ponders as he shoots a dagger or two in his hotheaded brother's direction. But Raph only shrugs it off, glancing down at his sais like they have suddenly transformed into something magical.

"I-I don't know, Sensei. You guys wouldn't really understand," Mikey replies again, shifting his gaze from his brother to his master.

Splinter studies him, genuine concern filling his eyes with each passing moment. Then with a sigh, he waves his hand in a dismissing manner. Confusion fills Mikey as his master speaks.

"I believe that you are under much stress, my son. You are dismissed from training for today. Your mind does not focus well when filled with tension."

"W-What? I can't just leave, I need training, Sensei!" Mikey breathes out, glancing around at his equally appalled brothers. Splinter hasn't allowed one of them to leave training for years - so long that they don't even _remember_ who was permitted to exit the dojo without the full session being completed.

"I have a feeling that this will benefit you, Michelangelo. One day without training will not hurt you. However, one day of training without learning and rather just going through the steps will. We will meet later to resume where you had left off. But until then, rest your mind."

Mikey opens his mouth to argue back his point, but quickly decides better of it. Fighting with Splinter never ends well. Giving a small _hmph _of disapproval, the goofy turtle spins on his heel and walks out with arms tightly crossed.

o-o-o

"Mikey?"

The insistent rapping on his door continues as the exhausted turtle stares up at his ceiling. The dreams are back, covering his head in a thick fog of despair. What do they possibly want from him? No, that's a stupid question. Dreams can't possibly want to pull something out of their victim. It's not like their human. But still..

"Mikey, open up, I need to talk to you!"

"I don't feel like talking right now, D," Mikey replies, turning his head ever so slightly to glance at his locked door.

"Oh, I'm sorry your majesty, let me return at a time of your liking."

"That's right, shoo shoo peasant," Mikey responds, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

A muffled groan comes from the other end of the door, "Come on, Mikey, I'm serious."

Moaning in annoyance, Mikey rolls himself out of his bed. Tip toeing through his scattered knick-knacks that lay on the floor, the sleep-deprived turtle reaches his door. Untwisting the lock that seals the heavy door shut, he immediately turns back and jumps onto his bed. Shoving his face into the pillow, Mikey listens as Donnie enters cautiously.

"Whaaaat doooo yoooooou waaaaant?" Mikey drags out each word, his voice meeting a slight restraint against the pillow he has stuffed his face with.

"..Are you okay?"

Mikey lies still for a moment, pondering what to respond with. He can't just yell out that some unrealistic nightmares are making him go insane. Dreams are dreams, nothing more. But, he has just a slight feeling..

Again, the youngest turtle is pulled back into a dilemma. No one can really understand. Mikey just gets feelings that no one else can seem to relate with.

"Dude, I'm fine. I don't need therapist Donnie lecture me about life choices and blah blah blah," Mikey decides to respond as he rolls back onto his shell. Donnie stands over him, his face covered in concern.

"I don't know, Mikey. You haven't exactly been peachy the last few days – or nights, I mean."

"They're just dreams, bro. I'm fine, seriously," Mikey argues back, looking his brother in the eyes. The brown orbs study him for a second as the orange-banded turtle shrinks a bit on the inside. His brothers are good when it comes to seeking out lies. Dr. Prankenstein has improved that skill over the past few years.

"Fine," Donnie replies as he turns back towards the door, "But you know, if you ever need anything, you can come see me."

As he leaves the room, Mikey goes back to thinking. What does he mean 'if you need anything'? Mikey is – more or less – perfectly fine. That brainiac of a turtle just worries way too often.

Wanting to lift his exhausted spirits somewhat, Mikey pulls himself out of bed and begins towards the kitchen. Pizza is a cure for everything: broken hearts (for Donnie), enraged attitudes (for Raph), overly-stressed minds (for Leo), and.. well, pizza is medicinal for horrific dreams that make you paranoid about sleeping, apparently.

No, Mikey can do it. The turtle swings open the fridge door and pulls out a cold pizza. He can sleep. He won't let his mind control him anymore. He is going to sleep, tonight. And that's final.

o-o-o

_Flashes of light._

_That's all he can see._

_It's almost like an intense, overly-dramatic strobe light party._

_But worse._

_Because when the blinding light isn't burning his eyes, complete darkness encases him._

_The petrified turtle takes a shaky step forward. Normally, he would welcome any type of party, no matter what was happening. But now, something feels off. Mikey just knows._

_Flash off._

_Flash on._

_He reaches for his nunchucks, but they aren't there._

_Flash off._

_Flash on._

_A figure in the far distance snatches his attention immediately._

_Flash off._

_Flash on._

_It's closer._

_Flash off._

_Flash on._

_It's closer._

_Flash off._

_Flash on._

_It's Leo._

_Flash off._

_Flash on._

_There's another figure behind him._

_Flash off._

_Flash on._

_Leo's gone._

_Flash off._

_Flash on._

_The second figure is closer._

_Flash off._

_Flash on._

_A chunk of metal hits Mikey's feet._

_Flash off._

_Flash on._

_It's his brother's bloodied katana._

_Flash off._

_And it doesn't come back on._

o-o-o

**"Leo!"**

Mikey bolts up in bed, breathing heavily. Although he knows his eyes are bloodshot, they are widened in terror. He brings a shaking hand to his forehead, wiping off the cold sweat that lingers there.

No, no, he shouldn't have gone to sleep. It never worked. And it never will.

Again, for the fourth time, the pounding footsteps can be heard racing down the hallway. As they approach closer, Mikey pulls his legs to his chest and buries his head between them. This is insane. What is going on?

The door to his room whips open, making the poor turtle jump. And as he senses the presence of his comforting brothers, Mikey can't hold back anymore. His shoulders softly shudder as his dull blue eyes are lined with water. A gentle hand rests on the back of his shell, but he doesn't receive the comfort that is intended.

"Mikey, Mikey, it's okay," Leo's soft voice whispers as he rubs his back. "It was only a-"

"Don't tell me it was only a dream! It's more, I can feel it, and it's horrible, Leo! It's _horrible_!" Mikey cries out, snapping his face around to look at his leader. A single tear manages to escape at his head's sudden movement, but he hardly notices it. The harsh words had rolled off his tongue with ease, as if they had been waiting in the back of his mouth for an eternity. They might have. Who knows.

Within the split second of speechlessness Leo has for his youngest brother, Mikey glances around the room. Donnie stands behind the eldest, arms loosely crossed against his chest. His soft, brown eyes are filled with questions and worries that Mikey has seen multiple times the past few nights. But Raph isn't there at all.

_Surprise, surprise._

"I-I.." Leo trails off, studying his brother's pale face. Mikey begins to shake with fear as he stares back, the sharp images of tonight's dream piercing him as his eyes drift over his brother's. Slowly, he raises his hand to wipe away the tear and gives a soft sniff.

"I need water," he softly announces as he pulls himself up with shaky arms. What he really needs is to get away from Leo; the blue-banded turtle is a trigger for too many awful memories. Leo takes a step backwards to give him room as he stumbles by him, but as he passes Donnie, he feels something clasp his left wrist.

"D, let go, I need to-"

"Yeah, I know. Get a drink of water," Donnie finishes with uncertainty. "But after you get it, come back to the lab. You.. We need to talk."

Mikey only stares at his sullen brother before giving a slight nod. At his gesture of agreement, Donnie releases his arm and walks out of the room without another word. A few seconds tick by as Mikey is frozen to the ground. The youngest turtle can feel his leader's gaze burn into the back of his shell as they are left alone. But before Leo can say anything else, Mikey rushes out as well.

A million thoughts race through his aching head as the cold touch of the glass reaches Mikey's lips. But one stands out vividly:

_These nightmares are more than just dreams._

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**A/N**

**Reviews are always welcome, but not flames.**

**Thank you so much for reading and for your support!**


	3. Overboard

**A/N**

**Hey guys! I know that this chapter is so much shorter than past and future ones, but I hope it will hold you over for the next few days. The next one will be better, I promise!**

**Until then, leave a review of what you think and/or would like to see!**

* * *

Mikey cracks open the lab door, peeking in before entering. His eyes quickly scan the room before landing on his brother. Don sits at his cluttered desk, his fingers furiously typing away at the glowing computer screen in front of him. Letting out a sigh, the orange-banded turtle steps into the room and jumps as the door clicks shut behind him. Attracted by the sudden movement, Donnie glances over to his youngest brother before motioning to an office chair that rests next to him.

_This is not gonna be fun, _Mikey groans to himself as he makes his way over to his brother. Plopping down in the swiveling chair, the goofy turtle swings side to side, looking down at his hanging feet. Donnie turns away from his precious computer to watch as his little brother avoids eye contact.

"Mikey, tell me what's wrong."

At first, the question catches the youngest turtle by surprise. There was no babying such as Leo might have done or teasing just like Raph would do. It's straight to the point – which only makes it harder.

"I already said I'm fine, Donnie," Mikey complains as he wiggles around his toes. "You guys act like there's a squirrelanoid down my throat or somethin'."

"Maybe not down your throat, but in your head," Donnie replies as his little brother continuously swings back and forth. "What have you been dreaming about, Mike?"

At this, Mikey stops his silly movement and freezes in place. This is it. This is where he can _finally_ tell his brother what he has been experiencing this entire week. All the horrific images, all the small details that constantly send shivers down his spine. He won't be alone anymore.

"N-Nothing."

At these words, Donnie leans closer to him, his eyes filled with doubt. Why isn't he letting anyone in? There's no one here but him, which should make it easier for his baby brother. But he's still pushing him away.

Mikey swallows slightly as he awaits his brother's response. His eyes still trained to the ground, he counts the cracks that line the cold floor.

"You.. Let me help you, Mikey. I'm not gonna go tattling off to Leo and Raph; it's just you and me right now. Why don't you want to tell me?" Donnie gently soothes as Mikey looks up to meet his eyes.

"Because-" Mikey breaks off, the million reasons racing through his head.

_Because I don't want to have to say it out loud._

_Because it's just stupid ideas that my brain is coming up with._

_Because you won't be able to do anything about it, anyways._

_Because you'll just laugh at me._

_Because I'm confused._

_Because I'm worried._

_Because I'm scared._

"I just don't want to talk about it," Mikey decides to respond as his voice comes out, barely a whisper. Donnie leans back a bit, his eyes never leaving his brother's as he taps a pencil on the edge of the desk.

"It helps when you don't keep everything bottled inside."

"I know."

"Then why won't you tell me?"

"Because I don't want to."

"That's not a very good excuse."

"It's not an excuse, it's what I want."

"What you want isn't always what you necessarily need."

"Donnie, I'm fine, sheesh!" Mikey finally ends, loosely crossing his arms over his plastron as he sits up straighter in the chair. Don studies him for a moment before letting out a sigh and closing his eyes gently. He isn't getting anywhere with this.

"Is it.. something about Master Splinter?" he questions, hating that he has to resort to throwing out random ideas just so that Mikey will talk.

"No."

"About Shredder?"

"No."

"About me? Leo? Raph?"

"..No."

At this Mikey holds in his breath. He drifts his gaze back towards the floor, wanting to appear as if he is bored with all of this. He feels Donnie's unwavering and questioning gaze burn into the top of his head. A few awkward moments slip by, Mikey only listening to the sound of his own breathing. Finally, a small squeaking noise indicates that Donhas turned back to his computer. He hears the furiously typing of the keyboard, and gets the message that the conversation must be done. The younger turtle stands up and begins to walk towards the door when Donnie's voice pierces the tense air.

"Please consider telling me, Mikey. You can tell anyone, actually. I just don't want this to get out of hand."

Mikey bites the inside of his cheek and he opens the lab door, stepping out into the common room. He welcomes the emptiness and the quiet of the night. He doesn't want anything else right now.

Jumping onto the couch, Mikey lies on his shell and stares at the intricate pattern of beams and poles that decorate the ceiling. He doesn't know why he didn't tell Donnie. It was his chance to finally be free of the nightmares that haunt him. But it didn't feel right. It wasn't the right time.

_Psh, it 'wasn't the right time', _Mikey scolds himself as he gently shuts his eyes. _You're going insane, dude._

"Mikey?"

The youngest turtle jumps at his name, a rush of fear rising then falling within him. He bolts up and turns around to see his exhausted leader look over him in concern.

"Yeah?" Mikey responds, reprimanding himself for reacting so childishly before lying back down to stare at the ceiling again.

"Are you gonna go back to sleep?"

"No." Mikey doesn't even hesitate. He can't go back to sleep – he can already see the horrific images that will blast him straight out of his shell as soon as he closes his eyes. But of course, Leo doesn't agree; he doesn't understand.

"You really need to. We have training tomorrow. It didn't go so well today, so don't you think that you should try and get some rest this time?"

"I can't."

"Would it help if you sleep in my room tonight?"

A small smile tugs at the corners of Mikey's mouth. Leo hasn't willingly let him sleep in his room for who knows how long now. It was a regular act that the eldest brother had allowed him to do when they were younger, but as the years flew by, it became less frequent. Maybe he does get it.

There's a brief pause before Mikey finally answers, "Maybe. I don't know."

"Okay, well, come on then little bro," Leo responds with a tired smile as Mikey sits back up. The orange-banded turtle returns the warm grin before jumping to his feet and following his eldest back to his room.

Maybe tonight isn't going to be such a nightmare after all.

o-o-o

_Mikey tugs and tugs on the ropes that bind him to the wooden chair. How he got there, he can't remember. Why he's there in the first place is also drawing a blank. Giving out a cry of fear, the helpless turtle begins to pull harder, the fragile chair beneath him rocking back and forth. A cool fall breeze runs over him, making him pause for a second. Where is he.._

_His bright eyes scan the area around him before widening in fright. He knows exactly where he is._

_At the top of the Empire State Building._

_He had only been up there once with his brothers – he recognizes the beautiful sight of the entire city, the rough winds that brush against his skin, the thinner the air seems to get – but that's all the information he needs to locate his position. Going back to struggling, the young turtle looks down at his freshly bleeding wrists and ankles. The rope digs deep into the wounds, allowing tears to push against the back of Mikey's eyes. Biting on his tongue, he continues to struggle. Who knows who did this to him. For all he knows, those people probably just want him dead. Like everyone else in the world._

_A flicker of movement catches his eye, and Mikey whips his head back up defensively. But what he sees springs his heart straight to his throat._

_Leo is standing on the edge, looking over the skyscraper with a strange curiosity._

_"Leo? Bro?" Mikey whispers as he looks over his eldest brother. Leo doesn't respond; he stares at the people and streets beneath him with an unexplainable glint in his eye. "Dude, can you back up? You're scaring me."_

_Leo inches forward, deliberately ignoring his anxious baby brother. The sapphire eyes never even glance down to see how close he is to the edge. He knows what he's doing. A cold sweat runs down Mikey's forehead as he comes to terms with what his possessed brother is thinking._

_"Leo, stop it, stop!" Mikey cries out, going back to fighting with the chair as Leo takes a half-step forward. "Listen to me! Why aren't you listening to me?!"_

_The blue-banded turtle snaps his head up to look Mikey in the eye, an inhumane smile stretched across his face. His eyes are tinted with crimson and his teeth are yellowed in age. Mikey pulls back from the horrendous image before jolting back forward again to stop his older brother. Leo never leaves his eyes as he jumps off._

_"__**Leo!**_"

_Suddenly, Mikey is aware of the empty space between him and the rooftop. The chair is gone. Wasting no time, he scrambles to his feet and looks over the edge in panic. There, a bloody mess of bones and skin, was his brother surrounded by horrified humans. He feels the wind brush over his damp cheeks as he slowly sinks to the ground. Covering his face with quaking hands, the youngest turtle lets out a sharp yell of torture._

_"L-"_

o-o-o

"-eo!"

Mikey pulls his shaking body up to a sitting position. The pain from his gushing wrists and ankles are gone, relieving his mind from that concern, but not all of them. The comforting scent of his older brother rushes into his nose, and he remembers where he is. Although he can't see in the dark room, he feels a soft tear slip off his chin and land on the blanket that covers him. Instinctively, he reaches a trembling hand up to wake his eldest brother, but quickly decides against it. He watches for a moment as Leo's body gently moves up and down in steady breaths. No, he can't wake him. It isn't right.

"_You can tell anyone, actually. I just don't want this to get out of hand," _Donnie's voice rings through his buzzing head, and instantly, he knows who to go to.

Quietly pulling himself off the makeshift bed on the floor, Mikey makes his way through the shadowy room and slips out the door, gently shutting it behind him. He can't wake Leo – he's done that enough already for the past week. Plus, he's just another problem for his leader to worry about. Although it hurts to think that, Mikey knows it's true.

Taking in a shuddering breath and sniffing up the residue in his nose, the youngest turtle begins to walk across the hall to his brother's room. But as he gets closer, he massages his hands in unease.

_Oh man, this is a bad idea, this is a bad idea, this is a bad idea.._

Gently, he creaks open the door, but jumps as it gives out a loud squeal. Eyes wide with fright, he whips his head around the block of wood to look at his sleeping brother. The motionless body on the bed jerks awake with instinct, ready to fight whoever dares to enter it's lair in the middle of the night.

But the last thing Raph expected was to find his sobbing brother in the doorway.

* * *

**A/N**

**I just realized that I have so much Raphael and Michelangelo fluff. But who cares. I love themmm ^.^**

**They are just such.. opposites that it only makes sense for them to go together, don't you think? No? Okay.**

**Be sure to leave a review, my friends!**

**Flames are not welcome, sorry..**


	4. Family

**A/N**

**Season 3, hurry up.**

* * *

Mikey takes in short, hiccuping breaths as Raph's emerald eyes study him for a moment. The younger turtle didn't know why or how, but he had a gut feeling to go to his hotheaded brother. Leo is always stressed about leadership and the orange clad turtle had already pushed Donnie away when he had the chance to explain everything. So, it only left Raph – and he has no idea how it's gonna turn out in the end.

"Raph?" Mikey croaks out, a few trails of water escaping his eyes. He's tired of this. He wants to sleep without the fear of something controlling his mind and awakening him with a start. He wants his normal life back.

Much to his displease, Raph slips his eyes back shut and rolls over onto his side with his shell to his crying brother. "I'm tired, Mikey. Can't this wait until tomorrow?"

Blinking out a few hot tears, Mikey tentatively walks further into the room and shuts the door behind him. The only light illuminating the dim room is the glow of a lava lamp on a desk, making it hard for the young turtle to see anything. But he can still feel the irritation emitting from his exhausted brother and it made his heart drop through the floor.

"No, n-not really," he manages to gently whisper as he stares at Raph's shell. "I need your help."

"Help? What help?" Raph mumbles wearily. "Actually – I don't even wanna know. Just go back to sleep, you'll be fine by tomorrow."

"No I won't-t. I don't know who else to go to. Leo is all neutral about everything like nothing is happening and Don is just gonna f-flip out again," the younger turtle says and sits down on the floor. He might as well get comfy. He might be here awhile.

"Well, nothing _is _happening, dude," Raph responds in boredom, the tempting sway of sleep washing over him. "You're just having some stupid nightmares. I'm tired, so I'm gonna go to sleep now, thank you very much."

The coldness in his voice makes Mikey shiver. He brings up a shaking hand to wipe his left cheek free of tears as he lets out a shuddering breath of fading hope. Raph is his last chance. If he can't get him to understand, then he's gonna be stuck with Splinter – AKA, nonstop meditation for the next three weeks. But he doesn't need useless mediation; he needs the comfort of his family. More specifically, his brothers.

"But R-Raph-"

"Sleeping."

"But-"

"Sleeping!"

"Please, just-"

"Sleepi-"

"Stop it!" Mikey cries out, pouncing to his feet. More tears flow out of his eyes, clearing his vision for a split second before more liquid fills them once more. "Dammit, Raph! I'm scared, these aren't just dreams, I can feel it! I don't know what to do! I'm afraid to even _blink _at this point because the images of Leo will just come right back and beat me to a pulp! P-Please, help me, Raph. Please.."

At this point, Raph sits up in a strange curiosity, staring at his brother with wide eyes. Mikey hardly ever curses – if at all – and it worries him that he is now.

"..Whoa, Mikey, bro, calm down," he murmurs as he watches his little brother sink back to the floor, his hands covering his face. He swings his legs over the side of his bed and watches with concern as his little brother sobs in front of him. What is he supposed to do? Leo usually takes care of this kind of touchy-feely stuff, not him. He ponders the thought of going to fetch his leader, but decides against it. There must be a reason why Mikey came to him, although vague. Giving out a small sigh, Raph tries his best to calm his baby brother.

"It's, um, gonna be alright. Did you say the dreams are about Leo? He's just fine, trust me. You have nothing to worry about," he awkwardly soothes, stiffly sitting on the bed. He gets no verbal response; only a shake of Mikey's head in denial answers him.

"S-something's.. gonna.. happen.. to.. Leo,.. Raph," Mikey hiccups out, his voice slightly muffled by the hands that cover his moist face. "I-I'm scared-d.. I don't w-want him.. to get.. hurt."

"But he's not gonna get hurt. He's sleepin' just fine right now," Raph replies as he rubs a hand across the back of his neck. He has no idea what he's doing right now. This whole "comforting" thing is new to him. Why didn't the little idiot go get Leo like he always does?

"He dies every time!" Mikey suddenly cries out as he whips his head back up to look his brother in the eye. Raph jumps a little at his outburst, studying the baby blue irises that glow in front of him. "Every night in my dreams, he d-dies and I can't do anything about it! I don't wanna tell him because h-he already thinks that I'm just the annoying l-little brother who is looking for a-attention. He doesn't c-care. He's just b-being nice to get me to sh-shut up."

At that, Mikey lets his head drop back down and covers his face again. He welcomes the darkness that surrounds him. He doesn't want to be constantly worrying anymore – he just wants to float off into space and never return. He wouldn't be missed, anyways. His brothers don't care. He thought they did, but they were really just trying to brush off the extra weight he puts on their shoulders. In fact, it's useless sitting in Raph's room right now. All his heartless, hotheaded brother is gonna do is yell at him and call him stupid for waking him up and-

Mikey shudders as he feels a warm presence by him. Until now, he didn't know how incredibly cold he had been. He continues sniveling, however, as a pair of hands wrap around him and pull him closer to a protective body. Instinctively, the youngest turtle snuggles his head into the comforting plastron that surrounds him. A steady heartbeat fills his ears as his tears begin to die down. Leo used to hold him like this. But that seemed so far away..

"Mikey," Raph gently whispers, giving his brother a tight squeeze. "Leo doesn't think that. We all don't think that. We care about you, little bro, no matter how super annoying you can be sometimes."

Mikey doesn't respond. He pulls his legs in tighter to get closer to Raph, closer to the comforting hand he has been searching for. It's ironic how the most violent member of his family can understand him better than any level-headed person. His breathing begins to drift into a soft, steady rhythm as the red-banded turtle rubs the back of his shell.

"Do you.. wanna talk about it?" Raph quietly states, looking down at his younger brother. Although he often chased the mischievous, orange clad turtle around in fury after a visit from Dr. Prankenstein, he knows that it's moments like these that keep them bonded as brothers and not as enemies. It's moments like these that counted the most in the end.

"No, not right-t now. I'll tell you tomorrow," Mikey sniffs and curls up closer against Raph's body. The red-banded turtle gives a small sigh before focusing on the green globs inside the lava lamp sway back and forth in the liquid. ".. Thank you, Raphie."

"I gotcha little bro," Raph replies as he gives a lovingly squeeze of protection.

He doesn't move as Mikey's breathing evens out peacefully followed by a brief snore, indicating that he has fallen asleep. He waits a few moments as he listens to the consoling silence of the air. Never before had he had to comfort Mikey like this. He never thought he would have to. Being the hothead of the team, whenever one of his siblings had troubles, they didn't run to him. They went to Leo or Splinter. But now, as he embraces his sleeping brother, he wonders why. He's not _too_ terribly bad at this, right?

Gently, Raph shifts a little so he can put an arm underneath Mikey's knees and support his dangling head. The sleeping turtle snuggles closer to his chest as his position changes, raising the _tiniest, slightest, ever so small _feeling of brotherly love in Raph. Of course, he won't ever admit that to his family, but at least he knows it's there for future references. Such as when he's tackling his goofy brother to the ground. Wondering when the next session of Run-Catch-and-Pummel will happen, Raph stands up slowly as to not wake his slumbering bundle before heading out his bedroom door.

As he crosses the common room, a flicker of movement catches Raph's eye. Briefly scanning the area, he watches as the lab door opens then gently closes, leaving Donnie standing dumbfounded in the common room with him. Don looks between him and the gentle body of Mikey in his arms with complete confusion. It's not very often that you find the two brothers together without any fighting involved. Nevertheless, the purple-banded genius gives an approving smile to his hotheaded brother. But Raph only grimaces and continues on his way to Mikey's room. Just because he was able to help his brother calm down doesn't mean that he's some kind of Super Turtle. It's just what brothers do.

o-o-o

_The empty room is a comforting shade of light yellow. _

_No screams of agony, no terrifying flashing lights – just the grinning, young turtle and his happy thoughts._

_A warm, fuzzy feeling drifts through Mikey as he lifts himself from the floor and looks at his surroundings. Although simple, the small room has a nice feeling to it. Almost as if it's alive. Mikey wouldn't want it any other way._

_A ringing sound of happiness catches his attention, and he notices a window in the left corner. Skipping over to it, the joyous turtle looks out the sheer glass, and his heart fills with warmth._

_Below him, his three brothers are laughing together in a similar room he is in now. Donnie slaps Leo's back with hilarity, and the blue-banded brother returns the favor. Don strikes back, but only to be smacked again by Leo. Soon enough, it's a test of strength as they bat at each other, trying to land the last blow. But they still have grins pasted to their faces, showering Mikey with the feeling of love and joy that he sees. _

_As if suddenly noticing his presence, Raph lets his laughter die down a bit before looking up to meet eyes with his younger brother. Mikey flashes his signature beam of glee and gives a small wave. The fond memory of Raph holding him rushes through his head, and he can't help but feel a sensation of gratitude for his older brother's actions. The usually-hotheaded turtle chuckles with a gleam in his emerald eyes before jumping into the battle between his two other brothers. The three of them roll together on the ground, laughing and smacking and pushing and shoving. _

_As he watches, the youngest turtle begins to laugh to himself as well. For him, happiness is contagious no matter what. Very rarely has he seen all of his family so joyous with each other – and this time, it isn't because they had saved the world from an alien invasion or barely managed to defeat Shredder and his henchmen. It's simply because they are brothers, and that's what brothers are supposed to do._

_Mikey rests his palm against cool glass and closes his eyes in bliss._

_This is more like it._

o-o-o

Raph gently sets his younger brother's body down on the bed and pulls the covers up. The sleeping body gives a deep sigh as it settles into the new, welcoming environment. The red clad turtle can't help but slightly smile at his peaceful state. Finally, they're going to go a night without screams of fear echoing throughout the lair and blasting everyone out of their shells.

As if sensing his sudden happiness, Mikey's sleepy mouth curves into a joyous grin. Even when out cold, the goofy turtle knows how to have a good time. Raph gently chuckles before softly patting his brother's plastron in praise.

"Now, this is more like it."

* * *

**A/N**

**Yeah, yeah. I know that this was a nice dream.**

**But don't worry; it evens out the upcoming nightmares - sorta.**

**Reviews are always welcome; please don't hesitate to leave one! (:**


	5. Alone

**A/N**

**Holy crapole.**

**Such a long chapter.**

**Ohhh boy.**

* * *

"You really helped Mikey."

"I know. So?"

"So?" Donnie quizzically questions as he raises his eyes from his soggy cereal to watch Raph pick at his eggs. "I tried to get him to at least tell me what his dreams are about, and he doesn't trust me. Then he turns around and is able to fall asleep again after a few _minutes_ with you? You must've done something."

"All I did was talk ta him," Raph responds as he puts a piece of egg in his mouth. "He said you and Leo were stressin' him out too much."

"What? I was only trying to help," Don defensively states as he stirs the remainder of his breakfast around subconsciously.

"Me too."

Both the turtles give a slight jump at Leo's voice. The leader walks into the kitchen, giving each of the brothers a slight smile of _Good Morning _before opening the fridge.

"What _did_ you do, Raph? I've never slept so well in my life," Leo jokes as he grabs a cup of orange juice and joins his brothers at the wooden table. "Knowing you, I thought you would've knocked him out cold with your bare hands."

"Then you aren't as good with people skills at you thought you were, Fearless," Raph sneers as he pushes the empty plate away from him. Leaning back in his chair, he gives a wide morning yawn before focusing on his brothers again. They still stare at him expectantly, as if he could teach them how to fly. But in reality, they really just want to know how the hotheaded turtle managed to soothe their paranoid brother. An overwhelming sense of control lingers over Raph, but he keeps his voice steady with confidence as he continues with, "Whadda you guys want from me?"

"I'm just.. surprised, that's all," Don manages to respond. He stands up and dumps the remainder of his cereal in the sink before cleaning out the dish. "It's not really like you to be able to calm someone down. Shell, you can barely calm yourself down sometimes."

"What, do you guys think I'm some heartless monster or somethin'?" Raph grumbles as he looks between his two brothers. Both Leo and Donnie glance at each other before focusing their gaze back on Raph. The red clad turtle rolls his eyes and gives out a huff of air. "Whatever. I know how to do a lot more than ya guys think."

"Psh, like what?" Leo challenges as a wide smirk appears across his face. Raph growls at him, but it doesn't faze the leader in any sort of way. "I'll bet you a whole box of pizza that within a few days, Mikey will be coming back to Don and me. You aren't so great with the whole 'kind-hearted thing'."

"What?!" Raph demands, staring Leo dead in the eye. "I didn't exactly see Mikey in _your _ugly green arms, did I?"

"Wait," Don says with utter amazement. "You **_hugged _**Mikey?!"

"What?! Are you insane? Of course I didn't, stupidhead!" Raph snaps as he jerks his blazing eyes to the genius. Donnie only smiles a bit before setting himself down at the table again beside Raph, and it makes the hothead growl lightly. "But fine, whatever you guys say. I'm winnin' that pizza."

"But just so you know, Raph," Leo replies tauntingly, "I like pepperoni the best."

Raph growls at him for the second time, resulting in even a larger grin from the blue-banded turtle. But before the hothead can pounce on his prey, a familiar, goofy figure struts into the kitchen.

"Hellooo my fellow gentle-turtles!" Mikey exclaims as he bounds over to the fridge. Whipping open the freezer door, the youngest turtle greets his little Ice Cream Kitty before grabbing some cereal from above it.

"Good to see you like yourself again, Mike," Leo warmly greets before bringing his cup back up to his lips. As he drinks from the glass, he shoots Raph a hidden _I'm so gonna win this_ look and the hotheaded turtle returns the favor with a hint of _Push your luck with me, and you'll see what happens._

"Well, it's all thanks to Raph," the orange-banded turtle grins, completely oblivious to his brothers' temporary rivalry. Don scoffs in disbelief as Mikey fills a small bowl with cereal.

"Never thought I'd live to hear those words.." the genius mutters slyly. A sharp look from Raph instantly shuts his mouth, but Leo still can't help but to let a laugh or two escape. Irritated, the hotheaded turtle kicks back his chair a bit and stands up.

"This is why I don't spend more time with all you shell-fer-brains," he growls in fury as he snatches up his plate. This time, Donnie and Mikey laugh as Leo holds up his hands in a playful defeat.

"Okay, okay, calm down," the leader chuckles as he stands up as well. "Master Splinter should be waiting for us by this time. We should go."

"What?" Mikey lowers a spoonful of cereal from his mouth. "I didn't even get to taste my food!"

"For shell's sake, do you ever stop complainin'?" Raph coldly teases as he walks over to the sink to put away his dishes. As he comes near Mikey, the younger turtle gives him a soft shoulder bump as he frantically shoves piles after pile of cereal in his mouth. But this time, it isn't to annoy the red clad turtle. Raph gets the message loud and clear;

_Thank you._

o-o-o

"Hajime!"

Mikey grins at the word as he rushes towards his first victim: Raph. Very rarely did Splinter let them have a free-for-all, but when he did, Mikey's nunchucks were always ready for some action.

Giving out a cry of battle, the youngest turtle swings his trusty weapons at Raph's head. Naturally, the hotheaded turtle dodges the attack and attempts to throw a swift punch at his opponent. But Mikey is quick and slides on the floor beneath his attacking enemy, landing near Donnie. Don is in the process of shoving Leo away from him with his bo-staff, but quickly turns to swing at his youngest brother. Fighting without any thought, the goofy turtle flips back up from the floor and manages to land a hard kick on his brother's plastron, sending the genius flying backwards with a grunt. Mikey opens his mouth to taunt his older brother, but is quickly cut off as he watches the purple clad turtle hit the floor.

Instead of victory, the young turtle feels a burst of panic rise within him.

Donnie's face. It was one of fear as he went crashing towards the ground, and now, he lies moaning in defeat. Just like what Leo would've looked like as he fell off the building.

His breathing involuntarily picking up, Mikey loses all sense of excitement that he might have felt before. And in his moment's hesitation, Leo manages to break away from an attacking Raphael and bring the youngest turtle to the ground with an easy sweep-kick. With a curt grunt, the orange clad brother falls in complete confusion. But Mikey doesn't care; the images from the depths of his mind come back to haunt him for the umpteenth time. He vaguely looks up as his eldest brother raises his katanas above him. Giving out a dreadful cry, Mikey helplessly cringes, squeezing his eyes shut in terror. He senses the katanas splitting through the air, coming down at him at full speed. The sharp swords come closer – !

_BANG._

Mikey snaps open his eyes to see Raph's sais blocking the impending blades, only inches away from his face. Scurrying from underneath his two brothers, Mikey backs away in panic. He feels himself begin to hyperventilate in anxiety, but he can't stop.

Leo. That's all he can think about. Leo. Not how he almost just got beheaded, but the twisted smile the eldest brother had given him before jumping off the roof.

The young turtle watches with a blur in his vision as Raph pushes the leader away, fire in his eyes.

"Leo, what the hell?!" he yells out, spinning the sais in his hands. "We're not tryin' to take off each other's heads!"

"Why are you yelling at me, Raph?" Leo shoots back with shock. "Why didn't Mikey move in time? The first thing we ever learned is to keep fighting until the end, no matter what!"

At this, Raph looks back at his baby brother. As much as he hates to admit it, Leo's right. As ninjas, you are never supposed to cower away from a fight – especially when it's life or death - without a good excuse. But his heart instantly drops as he sees the heavily-breathing, curled up figure in the corner. Green eyes meet blue as the two turtles watch each other for a second. A silent agreement is made, and Raph turns to face a puzzled Splinter.

Mikey watches with tears nudging the edge of his eyes as Raph leans over to their sensei and whispers a few indistinct words. After a few moments' hesitation, Splinter nods and turns back to face a baffled Leo and a curious Donnie. At his master's approval, Raph walks over to Mikey and grabs his wrist. Without giving any sort of explanation, the stronger turtle drags his fretful brother out the dojo.

o-o-o

"Mikey, come on, calm down."

The youngest turtle continues to gasp for air as he hugs his knees tighter to his chest, sitting on the floor. He thought he had finally escaped that hellish world of nightmares. He thought that he would be free from them after that one peaceful dream. But he was wrong. He knows that they're still there; he can feel it.

"You gotta talk to me, bro. I can't read minds," Raph continues, talking over Mikey's huffs for air. He sits on the edge of his bed, looking over his hyperventilating brother in confusion. All he wants to know is why his brother is suddenly spazzing out for no apparent reason, but that has been proving to be difficult for the last five minutes. Mikey shakes his head slightly, but then suddenly opens his mouth.

"L-Leo.. I.. saw him-m!" Mikey wails out, making Raph jump a bit on the bed. The orange clad turtle begins to rock back and forth on the floor, shoving his face between his knees. The horrendous images of Leo's wicked face and his shattered, gory body on the sidewalks of New York make him shudder for the umpteenth time and sob harder into his knees. The blood, the bones, the cracked head – "Just make them stop, _make them stop! Please!_"

"Mikey! Get a hold of yourself!" Raph yells out, getting on his feet. He flinches at the harshness of his words, but continues to stand over his brother.

"Now you sound like e-everyone else! Why doesn't anyone understand!_ Why can't anyone help me!_" Mikey screams out, lifting his head from his wet knees only to stuff it in his quivering hands.

Flashing lights pound in the back of his head, leaving the helpless turtle with no choice but to remember that particularly petrifying nightmare. He pulls his a hand away from his face to set it on the carpeted ground beneath him, but a sharp pang throughout his body makes him cry out louder as he connects the soft touch of the carpet to the blue mask that was once in his hands. The throbbing pounding in his head rings louder, the screeching of the pain echoing in his numb ears. Mikey desperately slaps both his hands over the top of his head in a futile attempt to calm the raging firestorm. What is he going to do, what is he going to do!

"_Ow, ow, my head! What is going on! __**What is going on**__-!"_

Mikey is cut short as his breath is stolen from his lungs. Something knocks him backwards and onto his shell without hesitation. Snapping his eyes back open, he frantically looks up at Raph who now sits on top of him. His brother's sweaty hand covers his mouth to restrict any further words to escape, and a rush of panic flies through him. Screaming into the gag, the wreck of a turtle begins to thrash beneath his older brother, but to no avail. He's captured – just like he has been every night.

"Michelangelo, you have _got_ to listen to me!" Raph demands as he pins his brother's arms down with his free hand. "You are gonna be alright, Leo is gonna be just fine, everythin' is okay! Listen to me, dammit! Calm down!"

More hot tears string from Mikey's eyes as he looks up at his older brother. He wants to believe him, he wants that more than anything else in the world. But the lies in his words are too hard to ignore, and he begins to sob some more. Something is going to happen. He doesn't know what and he doesn't know when, but he knows. He does! Why can't anyone listen!

"...It's gonna be alright. Please, trust me, Mikey."

The softness of Raph's voice startles the younger turtle into a momentary silence. But he continues to wail as the hand holding down his wrists lets go and gently wipes a few streaks of tears from his face. He never knew his older brother could be so compassionate..

"You're losin' your mind right now, little bro. Come on back to us, okay?" the gentle voice continues as Mikey squeezes his eyes shut. "I'm right here, and we're all safe in the lair right now. Do ya want me to go get Fearl- I mean, Leo?"

To both of their surprise, Mikey shakes his head. The younger turtle flutters his eyes back open as Raph pulls his hand away from his mouth.

"..Are you sure? I mean, he's right out there.." Raph mumbles in confusion as he climbs off his brother. Once again, the red clad turtle is plunged into perplexity. Everyone, especially his baby brother, always ran to Leo when they had problems. Is Mikey.. delusional or something..?

Mikey only shakes his head again as he sits back up. Sheepishly, he sniffs the snot back up where it belongs and gently wipes the tears away from his face that Raph managed to miss. He doesn't want anyone else in the room right now beside his hotheaded – but remarkably empathetic – brother. Besides, he doesn't want to bother anyone else with the nightmares he's explaining.

"My dreams.." Mikey begins, his voice cracking slightly. Is Raph really the person he wants to talk to? Donnie and Leo might be able to help him..

_No, _Mikey decides as he wipes away a stray tear from his chin. _Raph is the only one who has helped me so far.._

"I don't think it's such a grand idea to be talkin' about them right now," the red clad turtle warily suggests.

But the younger turtle ignores him as he continues, "It's always about Leo. Something bad always happens. And I don't know why, but they won't go away." Mikey's voice slightly cracks, and he takes in a deep breath. "They really scare me, Raph. But I can't do anything.."

"I know they do," Raph gently murmurs, settling into a comfortable position on the ground with his baby brother. "Your nightmares have been worse than before, I'll give you that. But, in all honestly, Mike, I think you may be overreacting.."

"W-What?"

"I think that you'll get over it soon. It's just a stupid phase; they don't really matter. They'll go away eventually."

Mikey's face instantly falls even deeper, and Raph gives him a quick glance of worry. But the younger turtle avoids eye contact as he tumbles over his thoughts.

There it was. He said it. The one sentence that Mikey prayed that he would never have to hear from his older brother. Raph doesn't believe him. No one does. And it's getting damn frustrating.

Not saying a word, Mikey climbs up off the floor and begins towards the door with a cloud of anger looming over his head. He hears Raph awkwardly shuffle off the floor but doesn't stop as he reaches for the doorknob. He knew that going to Raph would be a waste of time. What was he thinking?

"Wait, Mikey-" Raph grabs onto his younger brother's arm and pulls him backwards. Mikey gives a grunt of irritation, the newly found fury in him rising. "Where – Why are you leaving?"

"I don't see how this is hard to understand!" Mikey abruptly yells out as he yanks himself out of his brother's tight grasp. Raph stands dumbfounded in front of him, but the younger turtle doesn't feel the tiniest bit bad. "I need your guys' help, and you _never_ believe me!"

"You haven't exactly been the most trustworthy person you're entire life," the red clad turtle blatantly states, getting on the defensive. "It always seems to be one thing or another with you!"

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry I bothered you in the first place, Raph. I forgot that you never care about anyone else."

"That's not true! What is with all you guys and thinkin' that?!"

"You've given us plenty of reasons to think that! The only other thing in the _entire world_ you ever acted like you gave a damn about was Spike, and look how he turned out!"

Silence.

Raph's face falls, then darkens. Instantly, Mikey knows he had hit deep and hard, but he doesn't feel anything other than fury… and hurt. Raph was his last chance, and just like that, he just.. he just..

The two coldly stare at each other for a few long moments, neither one of them want to say another word. Eventually, Mikey only growls deep in his throat as he swings open the door and walks out, this time not meeting any resistance. What he said was the truth, whether Raph wanted to hear it or not.

And he doesn't regret anything.

o-o-o

_He's in the common room of the lair, sitting on the couch._

_Tensely, the orange-banded turtle gazes around his familiar home. There are no chains holding him down or strange figures appearing in the gloomy shadows. Loosening up a bit, the youngest turtle gives out a deep sigh and leans his head back onto the couch cushion behind him. He stares up at the ceiling above him, a strange feeling alertness overwhelming him. For what, he doesn't know. He's at home, everything is okay. Right?_

_Suddenly, a soft creaking noise echoes throughout the large room. Instinctively, the paranoid turtle whips his body around in fear, preparing for the worst. But he slightly relaxes as he notices Leo slowly walking out of the kitchen, his blue-banded head hanging to the floor._

_"Oh, hey Leo," Mikey warmly greets as his eldest brother slowly trudges across the lair. He can't help but notice the way his shoulders are slightly shaking. Is he crying? "You okay bro?"_

_Leo only gives a brief shake of the head in response with his face still hidden from his younger brother, giving off the impression of despair. Mikey's forehead furrows quizzically as his leader walks closer and closer to him. But his suspicions are cleared away as he noticed a small glimmering drop of liquid fall from his brother's concealed face._

_"Leo.." He stands up from the couch and walks over to his brother to meet him half way. "What's wrong dude?"_

_Mikey puts a gentle hand on Leo's trembling shoulder, and the blue clad turtle freezes in place. A horrific sound escapes from the older brother, and suddenly, Mikey feels sick as realization hits hard._

_Leo isn't crying. He's laughing._

_A sudden panic washing over him, Mikey drops his hand and tries to back away. Something isn't right. Something bad is happening. But as he tries to lift his foot, he realizes he can't. He's trapped._

_Leo's laugh becomes more apparent as the youngest turtle struggles with pulling his captured feet off the ground. Mikey frantically glances between Leo and his feet, giving out grunts of panic as he tries to wrench his feet off the ground._

_"Leo, Leo, please, help me!" Mikey pleads through groans of effort. He grabs his ankles and tries to free himself, but to no avail. It's no use. He finally gives up and can only gaze at his feet in a panic-stricken wonder. He's glued to the floor by some invisible force and Leo is hysterically giggling in front of him. What is going on?_

_Mikey looks up warily to gaze at his older brother and ask again for help, but immediately stops breathing, blinking, talking - everything. A sharp yell escapes his throat as another dark chuckle slips through Leo's lips._

_Leo's eyes are gouged out, leaving two gory holes in his pale green face. Rivers of crimson cascade from the open craters, bringing the taste of throw up in Mikey's mouth._

_He takes a step forward, his bloodied face inching closer to Mikey's. A wide grin breaks out on his face, and Mikey watches in utter horror as the blood pools in his wickedly smiling mouth._

_"Leo.. LEO STOP!" Mikey shrieks, clamping his eyes shut in terror. But his eyelids are suddenly forced open by an unseen entity, and he watches as Leo lifts a hand, touches it to his bloody face, and brings the red liquid to Mikey's. Instinctively, the youngest turtle tries to swat away his hands, but realizes that he can't move his body. _

_He's paralyzed. Leo's fingers come closer._

_Screaming in agony, the orange clad turtle can do nothing as his older brother smears the rosy paint on his forehead._

_"This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real!"_

_A horrid smell suddenly fills the room, and as Mikey gasps for fresh air, Leo drops lifelessly to the ground. Not knowing what to do, the youngest turtle stares down in horror as the blood begins to pool around his quaking feet._

_A ghastly voice suddenly fills his ears, and the orange clad turtle nearly jumps out of his shell as it rings through his head;_

**_"You did this to me. I will kill you."_**

o-o-o

Mikey doesn't even remember waking up. But by the way his throat is throbbing, by the way the sweat drips down his face, and by the way his three exhausted brothers stand over him, he knows he must've been screaming for help – again.

The shadowy figure of Raph pushes aside Don and Leo and kneels down beside the bed, complete concern washing into his glowing eyes. But, at the blurred sight of his face, Mikey harshly blinks the tears out of his eyes and shoots up in his bed. With trembling arms, he puts his hands on Raph's chest and shoves him away, sending the red clad turtle scrambling backwards in astonishment.

"Get away from me, Raphael!"

"Mikey, he's only trying to hel-!" Leo begins, but is quickly stopped short.

"I guess I'm just having another _problem, _right, Raph?" Mikey darkly shoots, and his hotheaded brother only looks at him in complete despair. "Get out. I don't need you. Wouldn't want it to be 'one thing or another with me', right?_"_

All three of his brothers are stunned into silence. Raph blinks once or twice, complete helplessness on his face. At that rare sight, Mikey's eyes fill with more tears, and the red clad turtle's heart falls. He reaches towards his baby brother, but Mikey jerks away from his touch.

"G-Go away. Now."

Raph opens his mouth to say something, but a soft touch on his shoulder stops him. He turns to see Leo giving him a curt look before turning and walking out the opened door. Donnie sighs and uncertainly follows, but the red-banded turtle hesitates a few moments more. He watches his baby brother's shoulders shudder for a few seconds before finding his voice.

"Mikey-"

"I mean it, Raph!"

This time, instead of anguish, Raph feels a sensation of irritation run through him. What the hell is wrong with Mikey? He's only trying to help the paranoid little shit! A pair of glowing green eyes narrow in the dark room before Raph turns and follows his two brothers, the door slamming behind him. Mikey flinches at the sudden sound, a few of his warm tears escaping his exhausted eyes. Slowly, he curls up into a quaking ball on his bed, a feeling of loneliness rising within him.

"Raphael," he hears murmured through the door, "What did you do?"

* * *

**A/N**

**I guess I've just been on a huge writing streak lately. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter ^-^**

**Reviews are aaaaalways welcome, so please do not hesitate to leave one(:**


	6. Help

**A/N**

**"A Foot Too Big" just screams Apritello. **

**Please, good heavens, let it happen already.**

* * *

"I don't need sleep, Leo. I'm fine. Pinky promise."

The blue clad turtle eyes his baby brother questionably. Gently, as to not scare the jittery turtle, he reaches towards his brother's orange mask. But Mikey still manages to flinch backwards a little before allowing his brother to reach him. With expanding distress, Leo touches the bottom of the orange bandana and lifts it up, revealing two dark circles underneath the dull, baby blue irises.

"Your poorly drawn raccoon eyes would say otherwise, Mike," he smoothly states as he lets the mask fall back down. "You need rest."

"I said I'm fine, dude!" Mikey hastily swats away his brother's lingering hand and stands up from the couch. This is why he didn't come out of his room for the past three days. He didn't want to be cornered by Leo and questioned as to why he hasn't slept. But Leo should know perfectly well why he hasn't. Or maybe he doesn't. Mikey can't know for sure anymore.

"Mikey, be reasonable." Oh great, his leader voice is back. "You haven't slept for days now. If you continue this, then you won't be able to train correctly and then you won't be able to fight correctly. You're already falling behind."

"No, I'm not!" Mikey pouts, loosely crossing his arms in front of him. He tries to flash his signature look of pity towards his older brother but Leo's eyes stay ice cold, demanding as always. "I'm the same as always, I haven't changed a bit!" At this, Leo raises a suspecting eye ridge.

"That's highly debatable, Mike, and you know it." Leo stands and puts a gentle hand on his brother's shoulder. "Can you please just rest for an hour or two? It's already getting late in the evening, anyways."

The idea of sleeping snatches Mikey's attention away and seems to pull down on the dreary circles under his eyes. But he attempts to blink it away before simply responding, "No."

"You're wastin' your time, Fearless."

The youngest turtle's eyes instantly narrow as he spots Raph walking out the kitchen door. The red clad turtle shoots him a warning look before reaching the couch in three long strides and lazily plopping down on it. "He's not gonna listen to you. He never does."

"And who asked you?" Mikey's words are daggers to Raph, but the hotheaded turtle meets the steel glare of his younger brother.

"I don't need to be 'invited', thank you very much."

"Well now that I think about it, it makes sense that you have to barge in. No one ever wants you here in the first place."

"Stop." Leo's voice is sharp and demanding, making Mikey shift a bit on his feet. "I don't know what has gotten into you two, but you guys need to get over it."

"I'm perfectly fine," Raph waves off, reaching for the remote. "He's the one with the problem."

"I'm surprised you even noticed I have a problem," Mikey challenges. Raph only glances up at him for a second before focusing his gaze on the TV.

"I'm done with this conversation," he finally growls, pulling up his feet to rest on the coffee table in front of him.

"Typical Raph to run away whenever he knows he's wrong," Mikey snarls, but Leo threateningly grasps his wrist, making him yell out in pain. Raph bitterly chuckles at his shout of agony, and before Mikey even notices it, he's reaching for his nunchucks. This ends now.

"Michelangelo!" Leo warns, his hissed word echoing in the younger turtle's exhausted mind. Mikey hesitates for a second, his hand still suspended above his weapons. But eventually, he yanks out of his leader's grip and storms to his room. This is why he stays in his bedroom. His family only makes things worse. Especially that hotheaded, selfish, sorry-excuse-for-a-brother, and much more colorfully-phrased Raphael.

Slamming and locking the door behind him, the young turtle jumps onto his bed and shoves his face into the pillow. The sweet, sweet darkness suddenly arises the temptation to sleep, so Mikey promptly flips over onto his shell and flicks on a bedside lamp. The light flutters a bit before it vibrates through the room and Mikey gives out a sigh of relief as the slumber nudging at his eyes lessens a bit. He can't go to sleep. He can barely close his eyes. He knows the consequences.

A sharp, sudden voice reaches his ears and he slowly sits up in bed to strain his hearing.

"..need to make it right!" Leo's muffled voice drifts into the room.

"Not my fault that.. sleep." The hostile sound of Raph's words makes a certain baby blue eyes narrow in disgust. He hates him. He hates him so much.

"…Three days, Raph! He hasn't… entire three days! You are the only.. so help him!"

"He doesn't _want_ my help!" Raph's booming voice clearly stands out, and Mikey can instantly envision him standing head to head with Leo, his teeth clashing together in fury. It's a sight that Mikey knows all too well. Or that Dr. Prankenstein is familiar with, at least. Oh boy, this is not good.

"It doesn't matter!" The leader's voice is raised as well. "You're his older brother, so act like it!"

"I'm so fucking done with all you hard-headed people! Listen to me for once: I don't understand why he needs _my_ help! Here's a grand idea: Why don't you go fix it yourself instead of wastin' time yellin' at me you idiot?!"

"I can't help him, he – ..We need to talk about this! Don't you walk away, Raphael!"

"Don't pull that damn full-name thing on me, Fearless!" There's a sharp slam and Mikey jumps in increasing alarm. It takes a few seconds, but he faintly relaxes as he registers that it wasn't a gun shot. It was only a door. Thank the sewers. No one is murdering each other.. tonight.

An eerie silence quickly follows, though, making the intensity of the situation climb. But luckily, there are no more shouts of hatred. The youngest turtle breathes out a sigh of relief, glad that it's over. In all honesty, no matter how mad he may be at his brothers, he hates it when they fight. They're family; they only have each other. Unless, of course, there are other mutated turtles trained in the art of Ninjitsu by their human-sized rat master.

_Even __**I **__know that that's impossible. Pfft, and Don says I have no common sense.._

Suddenly, a hammering of footsteps can be heard storming down the hallway and Mikey's heart leaps to his throat. Leo wouldn't. He wouldn't dare.

..Would he?

Jumping out of bed, the panic-stricken turtle sprints to the door and fumbles with the lock with shaking hands. In his struggle, a loud pounding of a door echoes in the hushed lair and Mikey frantically attempts to undo the lock with more determination. He needs to get to them. This is bad, this is so terribly bad..

"Open the door, Raphael! Mikey's right; you can't just run away every time you have a problem!"

"Get the hell away from me Leo!"

"I won't! You need to come out here _now_!"

"I swear to fuckin' God, Leonardo-!"

Finally managing to steady his fingers and whip open the door, Mikey runs out of his room and begins towards Raph's. Just as he suspected, his furious leader is standing outside the closed door, fire in his cold, sapphire eyes. Just as Mikey is about to start towards him, Raph swings open the door and stands head-on with Leo, making the orange clad turtle stop in utter terror. There's no mistaking that enraged glint in those emerald eyes.

"What the fuck do you want from me?!" Raph yells out, and Mikey watches in horror as Leo's hands clench tightly. Raph also seems takes notice of this and a deep growl grows in his throat. Mikey doesn't even give his leader time to answer.

"Stop!" Mikey briskly jogs over to his brothers and grasps Leo's wrist, giving it a sharp yank. "Leo, leave him alone!"

But Leonardo ignores him and continues to deliver a steel glare to the red clad turtle in front of him. "What I _want_ is for you to stop being so damn stubborn! You never seem to care for anyone else, and it's getting particularly frustrating Raphael!"

Mikey flinches as he realizes that those were nearly the same words he had used against Raph four nights ago. He didn't know how cold it sounded when he came out of his mouth. And he also didn't take into account on how easy Raph went on him, because now, the hotheaded turtle is gnashing his teeth in complete fury. His shoulders are tense, his shadowy eyes are clouded over – but before he can lash out, a sudden voice interrupts them.

"What is going on?!" Donnie blurts out and Mikey whips around to see the fear in his soft brown eyes. He could feel his own eyes matching them. All of them loathed whenever Leo and Raph were fighting because it never, _never_ ended well.

"Donnie, tell this little shit to get outta my face and leave me alone!" Raph yells, his gaze never shifting from Leo's. The blue clad turtle's eyes harden even more and a sudden lump grows in Mikey's throat, restricting any further words from leaking.

"Stop acting like a five year old! I am your leader, and as leader, I am demanding a simple conversation with you! And what has Master Splinter told you about using those kinds of words?"

"I'm sure _you_ know, Splinter Jr.!"

"Yes, I do! You know why? Because I actually listen to him instead of running around and doing whatever the hell I want like some kind of wild animal!"

Raphael lifts a fist in response and Mikey's heart skips a beat. Just as he's about to throw a fatal punch, Leo captures his balled hand with his opened one and forces it back down to his side with a newfound strength.

"Don't you dare lay a finger on me, Raphael!"

"Let me fuckin' go!"

"Leo, please, please!" Mikey desperately achieves to plead as he pulls back on his oldest brother with all his remaining strength. Three days of no sleep, however, takes a toll on him and weakens his body. His waning efforts only manage to make Leo move backwards a single step, barely making a dent in the tense situation. "D-Donnie!"

"Leo, Raph," Donnie runs up to his three feuding brothers in a flash and pulls out his staff. He sets it in-between the fuming turtle's faces, making the two brothers shy away from each other. "Stop, now!"

A thick blanket of silence falls over the four turtles, but eventually, Leo takes a few steps backwards and lowers his gaze to the floor. Although his breathing is heavy, Mikey acknowledges that he's done and releases his wrist. Abruptly, an uncomfortable feeling rushes over him and his gaze swings from Leo to Raph. He instantly wishes it didn't.

The hotheaded turtle only glares at him for a second, utter hatred burning in his eyes. Although it was a scowl all too familiar with Mikey, he can't help but feel as if this one is different.

"This is all your fuckin' fault, Michelangelo," he deeply growls, making the youngest turtle painfully wince.

And with that, he slams the door on all three of his brothers.

Tears springing to the corners of his fatigued eyes, Mikey turns and runs to his own room. But this time, he gently shuts the door as to not draw too much attention to himself before turning to his bed once again. He doesn't even make it half way before he falls to the floor and covers his moist face with his hands. He didn't even realize he was crying yet. But now that he is, the tears flow in heavy yet completely silent streams. He doesn't want Leo or Donnie coming in to baby him. He doesn't need that. He's not entirely sure what he _does_ need, but the sobbing turtle knows that he's missing something.

And before he can do anything about it, his exhausted eyes give out and all he can see is black.

o-o-o

_It's pitch black._

_He can't see a thing._

_He raises what he believes is his hand in front of what he believes is his eyes._

_But he sees nothing._

_Nothing._

_It's silent._

_An eerie silence._

_There's a creaking sound._

_Mikey whips around._

_It came from behind him._

_But he can't see._

_The creaking sounds again._

_But he can't see._

_Another faint echo._

_But he can't see._

_He tries to run._

_But he can't see._

_He trips._

_He falls into some sticky liquid._

_But he can't see._

_"Michelangelo."_

_It's Leo._

_But he can't see._

_It smells like blood._

_But he can't see._

_"Michelangelo."_

_It's Leo again._

_But he can't see._

_"Help me."_

_Mikey sits up._

_But he can't see._

_His shell backs into someone._

_But he can't see._

_Something covers his mouth._

_But he can't see._

_He tries to yell._

_He tries to rip out of the thing muffling his pleas._

_But he can't see._

_"Michelangelo."_

_It's right next to his ear._

_But he can't see._

_He claws at the thing covering his mouth._

_Leo laughs behind him._

_But he can't see._

_The lights flicker on._

_Leo's limp body is hanging from the ceiling with a rope around his neck._

_The lights flicker off._

_And he can't see._

o-o-o

He sits up screaming just as the door of his room slams open. Raph stands in its wake, a wild look in his eyes. But the bitter memory of him slams into Mikey and a scowl covers his moist face.

"G-Get out! How many times do.. do I have to tell you!"

"But you _called_ me, you were screamin' at the top of your lungs!" Raph states, shutting the door behind him without leaving his younger brother's stare. Mikey's head swirls in confusion as his brother stands expectantly in front of him. He had called him?

"No, I-I didn't, I just woke up," the younger turtle protests with narrowed eyes. Raph is the last person he wants here, and his brother knows it as well as he does. He's lying.

"Mikey, you were callin' me. I swear."

"Well, now I'm not, so get out."

Silence.

"..Why are you doin' this to yourself?"

"I'm not doing anything."

"You're rejecting my help."

"I don't need your help."

"Don't lie."

"I'm-"

Mikey's voice is cut off as his door creaks open. He gives out a curt sigh of relief as he sees Leo poke his head in. Their leader had the most perfect timing. Mikey doesn't know what he would've responded to Raph. That he didn't need his help? That would be a lie.

"Are you two okay?" Leo questions, looking between Mikey and Raph. "I heard you screaming, Mike."

"We're fine, Leo," Raph snarls, not bothering to turn around. Mikey sees a flash of fury rush through the emerald eyes and a small shiver runs up his back. "I need ta talk to him. _Alone_. That's if you can actually listen to me for once, Fearless."

Leo glances at the back of Raph's head before gently shutting the door again. A sensation of relief begins to weave its way through Mikey as Leo goes without protest, and more importantly, without a fight. But a string of regret manages to sneak in the woven basket of solace as well.

He's alone with Raphael.

"..Let me help ya, Mikey," Raph blankly states as he leans up against the door. Mikey drifts his hard gaze away from him and trains his eyes on a few action figures that rest on a shelf. He can't tell if his brother is being sincere or not. There's too much at stake if he's lying.

"You don't wanna help me. You said it yourself."

"That's not true," Raph says with a hint of irritation nudging at the edge of his words. "Look, I'm not here because pain-in-the-ass Leonardo told me to come. I'm here because I hate seeing you like this. If something's wrong, I'm gonna help you whether ya like it or not. That goes for everyone in the family, alright?"

Mikey doesn't respond. Instead, he rests his elbows on his knees and puts his damp face in his hands. He shouldn't have a problem trusting his brother's words. He should be able to grab Raph's helping hand without hesitation. Yet here he is with a storm of doubt clouding his thoughts.

The bed creaks softly as new weight is added on it. Mikey doesn't have to look up to know that Raph is sitting beside him.

"Alright?" Raph repeats. Mikey only slightly nods his head and snuffs up some snot. He feels as Raph's strong arm wraps around his shoulders and pulls him close. A stray tear manages to fall as he leans into his brother. Although he counts this as a peace offering between him and his brother, a rebellious lingering wisp of doubt still sways in his spinning head.

"Come on," Raph says, the familiar amount of hardness in his voice. Mikey looks up in subtle curiosity as the weight on his shoulders lifts. Raph opens up the bed covers that Mikey had previously thrown off and gently jerks his head in their direction. Getting the message, the younger turtle crawls in and rests his head on the pillow. Raph pulls the sheets up to his neck and pokes in the covers all the way down his baby brother's body, "tucking him in". Mikey can't stop his laugh as his older brother hits a ticklish spot, and it makes the red clad turtle slightly smile.

"There ya go," he roughly murmurs and Mikey gives him a small grin. Raph quietly looks over his burrito-wrapped brother and Mikey asks the first thing in his mind to break the soft silence.

"What time is it?"

"Ah, I don't know.. three, maybe?"

"Three in the morning?" Mikey parrots, concern crossing into his face. "I've been out for that long?"

"It was already about nighttime when you passed out, Mike," Raph explains. "Don had said we shouldn't disturb you. You haven't slept for three days; you needed the rest, trust me."

"Yeah, well, it didn't exactly do any good.." Mikey breathes, his eyes no longer locked with Raphael's. The red clad turtle only gives out a huff of air in response and silence soon reigns over them. After a few long moments, the oldest shuffles a bit as if debating whether it is the right time to exit or not. Mikey's eye catches the exhaustion in his brother's and a prick of panic courses in him.

"Don't leave, please." The words pop out of Mikey's mouth before he can even think it over. He instantly seems to sink deeper into the mattress, a bit of shame and embarrassment heating his face. He's the youngest, he knows that, but he shouldn't need his brothers like this. It's pathetic. But Raph only playfully pokes him between the eyes before responding.

"Who said I was leavin'? Move your fat shell over."

Not waiting for him to obey, Raph plops down on top of the covers and leans back against the wall behind him. The younger turtle shuffles into a more comfortable position before resting his head against Raph's arm. He missed this. The red clad turtle wearily murmurs something along the lines of "goodnight", but Mikey is still far from sleep. Even though his brother has given him much needed comfort, it isn't enough to weigh out the nightmares that will haunt him as soon as he closes his eyes.

Grateful for the shadows that hide his face from his brother's sleep deprived eyes, Mikey quietly listens as Raph's breathing turns to gentle snores, staring up blankly at the ceiling for the entire night.

* * *

**A/N**

**Insomnia is hard to overcome. Bleh.**

**Sorry for such a delay on all my stories, but I promise, I will get on top of it!**

**Reviews are aaaalways welcome, so please do not hesitate to leave one(:**


	7. Forced

**A/N**

**No school today, sooooo the result was this extremely early update!**

**Okay, so I wasn't planning on writing this chapter, but I couldn't let such a great suggestion from _cup-mikey-gertha _go to waste, could I?**

**Also, I would like to take this moment to thank _MissCookiiie, Athese, HotCrossPigeon, ducky mikey, InsaneDutchGirl, HopeandStruggle, _and of course, _Anna daughter of Percabeth _!**

**You guys have been amazing, and your feedback has been wonderful. You have no idea how much reviews impact me. And for those who I didn't mention, please do not think I don't appreciate your ongoing support just as much! I really do love you all, and it always gives me joy when I see that you are enjoying my story as much as I am.**

**And for those who told me that Donnie is hardly mentioned, heed my words: In due time, my friends. In due time.**

**He will be playing a large part in the next few chapters or so, and this chapter is basically an introduction of his role. Patience with a dash of suspense is the key to a good story(:**

**So, without further ado (and in courtesy of _cup-mikey-gertha_), here is the seventh chapter of Until Dawn Breaks.**

**(Be aware that the following events take place after Leonardo and Raphael's fight in the previous chapter..)**

* * *

Donnie nervously shifts his gaze from Mikey's gently shut door to Raph's violently slammed door and back to the heavily breathing blue clad turtle in front of him. It's a mystery how the doors of this lair aren't in splinters yet; the family sure does slam them often. Pushing that thought to the back of his mind and quietly replacing his quickly retrieved weapon back into its holder, Donnie ponders over what to say. What is there to say at this point?

"U-Um, Leo," he staggers, the words popping into his head as he goes along. "Maybe you should.. I think you should, you know.."

_Take a chill pill?_

_Cool down?_

_Have some time to yourself?_

_…_

_Hope that Master Splinter doesn't come out here?_

"Yes, I know. Thank you Donatello." But the gently hissed words are nowhere near grateful. Leo's heavily thoughtful eyes never meet Donnie's as the eldest trudges past him, heading towards his own room. Don silently watches as his brother softly clicks the door shut behind him before letting out the breath he didn't realize he had been holding. A roll of relief courses through his rigid body as he realizes that his family is separated and not screaming in one another's faces.

Yes, he knows he's the intelligent one. Yes, he knows that his brain holds the most information than any of his family members. And yes, he knows that he should have all the answers. But he still cannot comprehend what the hell has happened tonight. He had been in his lab, doing his weekly security check ups for the lair when an abnormally loud disturbance had him busting through the large metal doors and sprinting over to his brothers.

When he arrived, he witnessed something he hasn't seen for a long while: Raph looming over the leader with a particular fire in his eyes (not much of a surprise) and Leo stubbornly redirecting the steel gaze right back to him. It's not often that you find the passive leader fighting back against their most violent sibling. Mikey also seemed to have gotten mixed up in that strange bundle of intensity. He was desperately grasping Leonardo's wrist, urging him to back away from the impending doom he was staring straight in the eye.

But if there's one piece of knowledge that Donnie can manage to pick out from the cluster of his intellectual brain, it's that Leo never backs away from a fight so easily. And while that could be a great characteristic of a leader, you might as well be holding a blade to your own neck when going up against Raphael.

Don lightly tugs on his shoulder strap, something he often does when he is either stressed or worried. Things have gotten out of control. Especially for Mikey. The poor turtle can't even blink without jolting from the darkness that momentarily encases his vision. Donatello had been grateful that Raph could ease his baby brother's mind, but that's now proving to be difficult. The purple clad turtle frequently notices the bitter glances the two brothers have shot each other and the sharp words that pierce one another's skin. Even Donnie knows that it must happen often, and he's the one who is usually stuck in his lab. He's also positive that tonight's events didn't help much either. And although Mikey and Raph are not bleeding externally, Donnie knows that they are wilting away inside. He can see it in their eyes. But it's harder for Don to understand Mikey. The youngest turtle often has the glassy haze of sleep casting shadows over the baby blue irises.

Suddenly feeling tired himself, the clever turtle rubs at his eyes then blinks them open again as if the world will magically make sense. When he's still greeted by the disconcerting situation, he thinks over his options. Thinking – it's what he does best, after all.

Number One: He can make Leo and Raph apologize, and hopefully that could help Mikey's situation.

He lightly scoffs at that thought. Yeah, right. Make Raph apologize? Moving on.

Number Two: He could just ignore it and hope that everything settles back into place.

Possible, though highly unlikely. When it comes to his brothers, falling back in line like little continental soldiers never clicked well with them.

Number Three: He could get Michelangelo to sleep again.

At this thought, the distressed turtle pauses. Mikey not being able to rest seems to be the focus of the problems at hand. If he could get his younger brother to get a few winks of sleep, that might ease the tension within the family.

Yes. That's a reasonable plan. Right?

Biting his inner cheek, Don starts towards Michelangelo's closed door. Some small part of him knows that it'll be useless to try and get his sibling to sleep again. His baby brother hasn't slept for the past three days, and Donnie's extensive knowledge repeatedly arises the fact that that is exceedingly unhealthy, especially for a growing teenager. He also has come to terms with the fact that insomnia is hard to break, particularly when you have something to fear or gain from it. He should know; he's a day and night scientist, after all. But those two minor facts won't stop him from trying to help his brother. And so, pushing that disturbing feeling to the backseat of his mind, the purple-banded turtle rests his hand on the doorknob and twists it, letting the door silently slide open.

His heart both leaps and drops at the sight of his awkwardly slumbering brother. Of course, he's entirely glad that Mikey figured out that he needed the rest – even if he did somehow realize that in the middle of the floor. But Donnie had been planning on sucking some much needed information out of his younger brother. In order to help Mikey, he needs to know what is going on in that jumbled brain of his. He guesses that the interrogation will have to wait for another time.

Putting his stealthy ninja techniques to good use, Donatello makes his way over to his snoring brother and bends to pick him up. His baby brother's skin feels icy to the touch as the older of the two cradles him in his arms and begins towards the disheveled bed. Absentmindedly shaking his swirling head in disapproval, Donnie sets his brother's shuddering body between the sheets and pulls up the covers. He knows that Mikey will wake up screaming, forcing everyone to harshly snap out of their slumber and rush to his aid. He knows that it will happen, yet he can't do anything about it. And that's what hurts the most. He only wants to help his beloved baby brother.

But he knows someone who _can_ help him.

Giving his younger brother one last look of concern, the purple-banded turtle turns on his heel and closes the door behind him as he silently exits the bedroom. Then, he begins towards Raph's.

He doesn't bother knocking; there's no doubt in his bright mind that the gruff response will be somewhere along the lines of "Go away". So, he takes in a deep breath as he dares to quietly open the door.

Although the urge to sigh out in relief is strong, Donnie still captures his breath as he realizes that his hotheaded brother didn't hear him enter. Raph's face is buried in his pillow as he lies almost lifelessly on his bed, his legs and arms splayed out around him. The uneasy sight of his big, tough, and older brother so.. so.. _vulnerable_ makes Donnie swallow nervously once or twice. He's not anxious about this odd behavior that Raph is displaying, no, it's nothing like that. What worries him is fairly simple: Raphael doesn't show his vulnerability humbly – he lets it out in quick and easy fits of rage that Donnie can only hope he won't be caught in the wakes of. There's been enough violence for one day.

As the purple clad turtle curtly shuts the door behind him with a barely audible click, a certain pair of glowing green eyes cut through the dimness of the room to accusingly glare at him. Although their abilities to detect even the slightest of sounds are incredible, Donnie can't help but feel irritated as Raph seems to shave away at his very existence the longer they look at one another. For a few moments, the two sit in a deep silence. But that somewhat-awkward silence is short lived.

"If you came in here to lecture me for a second damn time, you can get the hell out right now," Raph coldly demands and Donnie's hand inches back up to his shoulder strap to relieve some of the stress he is suddenly receiving.

"..He's going to wake back up, Raph," is the only thing that manages to escape his taut mouth. There's no joking around in his voice or any arguments to further infuriate his edgy brother. He needs to get straight to the point. He's learned that prolonging conversations with Raph gets nowhere.

"Who? Mikey?" Raphael questions, pulling his body up to a sitting position on the bed. His unforgiving gaze never wavers from Donnie's, and it makes the younger brother shuffle uneasily on his feet. "Did the little idiot finally grow a pair and fall asleep?"

The harshly spoken statement makes Donnie drop his fidgeting hand straighten up in defense. "Don't talk about Mikey like that, Raph. I know you're worried about him just as much as I am, so if you would just let down that freaking 'tough guy' act of yours and let yourself be caring for once, this conversation will go a lot smoother than the one you just had – trust me." Don feels a burst of confidence flow through him. It felt good to say that.

Even Raph looks a bit thrown off by his suddenly confident words, but his inquisitive look is soon replaced with one of irritation. "Whatever, Donnie. Mikey's not my problem, I don't know how many times I have to tell all of you people."

"Yes, he is, Raphael," Donnie blatantly states, weaving his arms together in front of his chest to give off a demanding pose. "Whether you like it or not, that's the cold hard truth. You need to push aside your own wants and needs for once and tend to your little brother."

"And what if I don't?" Raph challenges, "What are you goin' to do about it?"

"I'm not going to do anything. I'm not looking for a fight, unlike you. All I'm trying to say is that you need to be there for Mikey. We're family, Raph."

"Yeah, thanks for that bit of info, Sherlock," Raph grumbles, drumming his fingers on the mattress in front of him. "I know we're family, smart one. But I still don't see how I got sucked into all of this shit."

"It doesn't matter!" Even Donnie slightly flinches at the sharply spoken words, but he continues to let his mouth do not only the talking, but the thinking as well. "You need to be right by his side when he wakes up from his nightmares, and I swear to God, Raphael, you had better be sincere! He is losing his mind right now, so I'm not politely asking if you want to help him - I'm telling you!"

"Donnie, geezus, calm down, I –!"

"No, you do not have a say in this whatsoever! You _know_ that you are the only one that can help him, so why are you refusing that responsibility?" The only answer that Donnie receives is a dumbfounded blink from Raph, so he continues. "When he wakes up, which you and I both know he will, you _will_ be there and you _won't _tell him that I told you to be!"

"Why the hell does it matter if I told him you were being a –"

"Because," Donnie darkly interrupts, "if he knows that Leo and I sent you in there, how much faith do you think he'll hear in your words?"

Silence.

Donnie takes in a small, calming breath before moving on.

"I'm going to try to figure out different ways to help him sleep, but until then, I don't care if you have to hold his hand and merrily skip around the lair. You're going to help him, Raph. You're going to be sincere, you're going to do whatever it takes to make him feel better, and most importantly, you're going to at least act like you want to be there for him. And that's final."

He doesn't even wait for a response or a complaint. Donnie turns and walks straight out the door, knowing all too well that he is leaving behind a dumbstruck Raphael. But that's okay. At least he got his point across.

As he slips into the lab, he can't help but feel a surge of pride fill every empty space in his body. He has finally stood up to one of his brothers, and not just any brother: Raphael. And Raph didn't even put up much of a fight. He actually listened to Donnie for once. Well, at least Donnie likes to think that Raph had listened to him.

With that strand of hope lingering in the back of his mind, Don gingerly sits down at his cluttered desk in the lab. He can't stop the unwilling sigh that manages to escape his mouth. Another project, another weight added to his shoulders. But he has to do it for Mikey, he knows that. So, rolling his neck around in a few, relaxing circles, Donnie gazes down at the paperwork in front of him and lets the gears in his mind begin to run.

How to help Mikey sleep..

o-o-o

_"RAPH! RAPH, RA..!"_

Raphael shoots off the wall he was leaning against, a nasty crook in his neck making him wince in pain. Why was he sleeping sitting upright?

_"RAPH!"_

Mikey.

Scrambling out of bed, the red clad turtle is out his room door in three seconds flat. He anxiously starts towards his baby brother's room, but a sudden pang of a despise knocks on the edges of his subconscious as he stands heavily breathing just outside of Mikey's door.

No. He shouldn't have to help Mikey. The little shit has caused so many damn problems in the family in five days tops. Plus, the idiot is 15; he shouldn't need Raph tucking him in and reading him sappy bedtime stories. Does Mikey not realize that Raph is losing at much sleep as he is since the feeble little dork is demanding for attention every single night? He –

"Raphael."

The warning growl comes from across the lair. Raph swivels his head around to be greeted by the faint, dim outline of Donnie peeking out of his slightly cracked lab door. What is he still doing up?

"Go, Raph."

Raphael clenches his exhausted fingers into balls as his younger brother hisses the words through the hushed lair. For a few long moments, the only sound is Raph's heavy breathing echoing in the sewers. It's bad enough that he nearly had a heart attack when he woke up, but now his little brother is bossing him around? Who the hell does Donatello think he is?

But before he can put voice to that complaint, a blood curdling scream comes from the other side of the closed door, and Raph knows he has no choice. Donnie is going to make him go in there one way or another even if that means bringing the entire family into the matter. And the hotheaded turtle would rather not have Leo getting his nose all up in their business. So he irritably slips into the room and slides on a mask of a genuinely caring face just as he was told to do.

His voice is nearly robotic as he speaks:

_"I'm not here because pain-in-the-ass Leonardo told me to. I'm here because I hate seeing you like this."_

Luckily, Mikey doesn't seem to notice.

* * *

**A/N**

**Oh, that plot twist tho.**

**So, was Raph being as sincere as you thought?**

**And who doesn't love a take-charge kind of Donatello? I'm sorry, but I got tired of him always being the "woe is me" turtle in all the stories I've read.**

**Anyways, reviews are aaaalways welcomed, so please do not hesitate to leave one(:**


	8. Tension

**A/N**

**I'm so sorry for a short chapter, but I promise to make up for it soon. (;**

* * *

Raph wakes slowly. His eyes warily flutter open, welcoming the dimness of the unfamiliar room. Giving a wide morning yawn, he briefly scans over his surroundings before concluding that he is indeed in Mikey's room. The little idiot had problems last night – again.

_Speaking of the devil.._

Glancing down at the unkempt bed beneath him, the red clad turtle searches for the brother that is supposed to be lying with him. But Mikey is nowhere to be found. Only a wide empty spot lies next to Raphael. Groaning irritably, Raph pulls himself off the wall he was leaning against and swings his legs over the edge of the bed. If Mikey didn't even stay with him, why the hell did he bust his butt trying to get here at three in the morning?

Wondering what kind of excuse the youngest turtle will have as he rolls his stiff shoulders around, Raph groggily staggers off the bed and heads for the door. As he opens it, the cool air of the vast lair makes him shudder slightly. Usually, the familiar cold of the damp sewers didn't bother him, but the combination of the freezing temperature and the ice in his heart makes matters particularly worse. **(A/N… did I just diss Raph?)**

The faint sound of the television taps against his ears as he enters the common room. The shadows of the couch and many other various items flicker and dance as the illumination of the television continuously appears then disappears. Turning the corner, Raph angrily bites the side of his cheek. There, sitting almost lifelessly on the couch, is Mikey. The youngest turtle is absentmindedly flipping through the channels, obviously not looking for anything in particular. The staggering sounds of the abruptly cut off words of actors and reality show stars flare throughout the hushed lair as a soft _click, click, click_ makes the screen eagerly flip through countless shows.

_Weird,_ Raph speculates as he forces his unwilling body over to his brother. _The dork usually watches that stupid cartoon in the mornin'.._

"What's up?" Raph pushes out as he stands behind the couch. Mikey doesn't spare him a glance, but Raph can already tell he must be exhausted by the way his clouded eyes are vaguely focused on the screen. He frowns. "Didn't get good sleep?"

"Didn't sleep at all." Mikey finally gives up on finding a suitable channel and flings the remote to the other side of the couch. "Not worth it."

"Whaddya mean it's not worth it?" Raph questions, keeping his irritated tone at bay. Did Mikey just say that Raphael had spent the entire with him, sleeping as awkwardly and uncomfortably as humanely possible, for no apparent reason? But the answer is quickly ignited as the youngest turtle responds.

"The nightmares," Mikey sighs out, plopping his head against the cushions in exhaustion. Raph grimaces in utter disgust, but luckily, his brother's line of sight is facing the other direction as he lets out a sigh. "They aren't worth it. They're getting worse, dude."

The gleam of fury twirls in emerald eyes. "Are you tellin' me that I –"

Raph suddenly cruel voice is cut off by the squeaking of the lab door. Both the brothers turn to face Donnie who is drowsily stumbling out of his scientific hole, and Raph can't stop the groan of annoyance that rumbles in his throat. Donatello isn't exactly his most favorite person at this moment. Actually, he hasn't been his favorite person – ever.

"Hey, guys," Don yawns, giving his brothers a slight wave. Raph takes note of the side glance his purple clad brother gives him. That brief look is quickly transferred to and delays on the youngest turtle before drifting back to the hothead. "..Raph, could you help me with something real quick?"

"I'm a bit busy, Donnie," Raph mutters in response. Whatever Donnie has in mind can wait for at least another two years or so, the hothead decides.

"Busy doing what?" Don states defensively.

"Talking."

"Oh, sorry for interrupting. Please continue."

The lair is then plunged into an obvious silence, and with Mikey being totally oblivious to the situation at hand, the two wordlessly feuding turtles glare at one another for a few long seconds.

Don gives out a small sigh then continues with, "I just want to talk to you, Raph."

Interested by his brother's sudden words, Mikey turns on the couch to face his brothers in misunderstanding. At that second, Raphael opens his mouth to debate as to why he should stay with Mikey, but a brief warning glance from Donatello tells him otherwise.

Then, without waiting for a true response, the intelligent turtle walks into the kitchen. Observing how Mikey is about to ask a question or two by the way his mouth hangs slightly open, Raph follows Donnie. Whether or not he stays or goes, he's going to be somewhere he doesn't want to be.

o-o-o

"Do you care to tell me why Mikey still looks like a zombie?"

Raph scoffs at the question and leans against the counter behind him. Any answer he gives will lead to a lecture from his purple-banded turtle. It's a lose-lose situation. But by the rigid look his younger brother gives him, Raphael knows he will have to answer one way or another.

"It's not _my_ fault. I stayed with him just like you said, Donnie," he darkly shoots, giving his brother a glare that normally melts him into a puddle. But this time around, Donatello returns the favor and it makes his teeth gnash in irritation. "I don't even know why I'm takin' orders from you in the first place."

"I don't either, Raph," Donatello replies, keeping the cynical glare. "It should be first nature for you to want to help and protect your family and not have to be forced into it."

Raph growls. "Watch it, Donatello. You're not forcing me to do anythin', so keep your trap shut. If I had really wanted to, I would've just stayed in my room instead of bustin' my tail to give Mikey a few meaningless pats on the back, trust me."

"Are you saying you went there because you actually wanted to?" Donnie breathes out a bitter chuckle, making the emerald eyes of his brother narrow. "You and I both know that you're still a ticking bomb just waiting to explode."

"Yeah, and when I do, I hope you go down with me, you little…" Raph trails off, suddenly not having the determination to finish his sentence. Why, he doesn't know. Donnie deserves it. Honestly, since when was Donatello such a pain in the ass? Suddenly, the said turtle breaks through his thoughts.

"You know what?" Raphael shoots him a threatening glare at these words, and Donnie seems to shrink a bit into his shell before continuing. "Fine, Raph," Don decides to slur out, although irritation lingers in his every word. "I swear, talking to you is like trying to pour water in a cup full of holes."

"Great, now you're sounding like the Metaphorical Fearless. You really need to spend some time away from him."

A mocking, unfeeling, and nearly empty smile etches onto Donnie's face, and it makes Raph's features twist in confusion.

"Funny," Don's hard voice counters, "because I actually haven't seen much of him since you started that fight."

"Since **_I_** started that fight?" Raph pushes himself off the counter, jabbing a finger into his brother's plastron. Donnie doesn't budge. "It takes two to tango for your damn information!"

The only response Raphael receives is a judgmental shake of his sibling's head. After a few moments, Don trails his unreadable eyes to the floor, the tension of the atmosphere around the two brothers becoming unbearably heavy. Suddenly feeling annoyed that he is even breathing the same air as Donnie, Raph roughly pushes past the purple clad turtle and heads back out to the common area. He knew it was a bad idea to talk to him. He knew it.

So why does he suddenly feel so.. so.. guilty?

Reaching the couch in a few hurried strides, Raph plops down next to his baby brother, sitting a respectable distance away. Even Mikey has gotten on his nerves for the past few days – or nights, should he say. Although the little sucker has been particularly upsetting to the hothead his entire lifetime, Raph has never found him _this _exasperating. Hell, even looking at him sends shivers of intense aggravation throughout Raph's rigid body.

In fact, everyone in the family has seemed to get caught up in a nasty storm with Raphael, and now, the red clad turtle can't help but feel a sense of loneliness burst within him. There are only three mutant turtles like him in the world (not to mention that they are a _family_), and now, he's being pushed away by every single one of them. That realization shoots rocks into Raph's heart. Well, at least one particular brother of his hasn't completely hopped on the Train of Hatred..

"What did you and D talk about?" Mikey gently inquires with that annoying squeaking voice of his. But instead of voicing that thought, Raph shakes his head as he continues to watch the newscaster on the TV discuss the weather.

"Nothin'."

Mikey gives his brother a sideways look before lazily rolling his eyes back over to the television. A heavy silence falls over the two of them, and Raph can't help but feel surprised. Usually, the irksome younger turtle pestered him until the information spilled out in rushed sentences or outstretched fists filled with irritation. Raph decides to break the abnormal silence.

"Have ya seen Leo?" the oldest of the two questions, Donnie's words reminding him of their reclusive leader. It's not like Leonardo to keep to himself for so long, and frankly.. Raph's worried.

"I don't–"

Mikey's response is cut off by a harsh squealing of a door. Both the turtles glance over their shoulders to spot the said turtle slipping through a darkened bedroom. The leader doesn't address them in any way; he keeps his sapphire eyes to the ground as he heads towards the kitchen in silence. After he disappears in the doorway, Raph and Mikey exchange a look.

"Ooooookay..? Whaddya think got underneath his shell?" Mikey whispers quietly after a few long moments.

But Raph can only shrug his shoulders in puzzlement before Leo enters the common room again, this time holding a small glass of water. Once again, the eldest trains his eyes on the floor before closing the door of his bedroom behind him. Raph can't stop the prick of panic rush through him. Something's wrong.

"Hey Raph," a bitter voice gently calls out. The hotheaded turtle feels his hands involuntarily clench into fists as he spots Donnie walking out the kitchen. This can't be good.

"Leo looks great today, don't you think?" Don firmly continues, barely masking the accusing tone in his voice. Raph's eyes sharpen slightly as he glares at the TV in front of him. Just don't look. Out of sight, out of mind.

"Shut up, Donnie," Raph finally spits, earning a look of fear and confusion in his baby brother's eyes. "Don't you have somethin' you need to work on, Einstein?"

It's true; Donnie had said he was going to figure out solutions to Mikey's insomnia. Raphael didn't exactly know what that meant, but right now, he doesn't care. He just wants his brother of out of room as soon as possible.

"I sure do." The fake kindness in Donnie's voice makes Raph tremble slightly in fury. That little piece of shit had better take cover in his lab before something bad happens. As if reading his thoughts, Don starts towards the metal doors.

When the lab door finally groans in protest as it's pulled shut behind the purple clad turtle, Raph irritably bites the inside of his cheek. This family has gotten way out of hand. Everyone thinks that they can just run around and do whatever the hell they want without any sort of consequence. He just might have to change that.

"Are you dudes, you know..okay?" Mikey softly asks. Raph's jaw clenches in hardly suppressed annoyance.

"We're just fine," Raph spits, the sentence coming out harsher than originally intended. He sees Mikey pull away from him a little bit.

"..Okay."

* * *

**A/N**

**I guess this is chapter was an insight as to what Raph is thinking through all of this. At least you know where he's coming from, right?**

**The next chapter will be divided into two parts. Way too much happens for one single chapter..**

**Also: I know that there hasn't been a dream for awhile, but trust me, the next few chapters will be filled to the brim with those yummy nightmares!**

**Reviews are always welcomed, so please do not hesitate to leave one(: !**


	9. Betrayed, Part 1

**A/N**

**Almost ten days before an update? Shame on me, shame on me..**

**I'm so sorry for the wait, but I was visiting family for a week. Afterwards, I just wasn't motivated to write a new chapter.. Until now(:**

**But trust me, I believe it's going to be worth the wait. I hope you think so too.**

* * *

He shifts uncomfortably in the bed that he swears has gotten hotter with each passing second. The thin sheets clasp onto his sweaty hands as he repositions himself for the umpteenth time. And then again. And again. With a heavy groan slurred with a yawn, the young turtle lies on his stomach only to flip onto his back. Giving up on finding peace of mind, he dares to glance at the clock.

3:28

Heaving out a sigh, the young turtle flips onto his side and hastily kicks off the clingy sheets, staring at the empty wall in front of him. He hopes the plain sight will finally lull him to a nice sleep, but instead, he finds himself mentally outlining every single ridge on the concrete. No matter how hard he tries, his wandering eyes resist the subtle temptation to slip shut. And before he realizes it, his inquisitive irises are drifting back to the glowing alarm clock.

3:29

"Come on, eyeballs, just fall asleep already!" Mikey groans as he flips onto his opposite side. The dull baby blue eyes scan the unkempt room in front of him before resting on the slightly cracked door. The tempting way the dim light seeps through the doorway has him biting on the inner part of his cheek.

He can't go get him. Mikey knows that something is wrong by the way his second eldest brother has been behaving recently. The small hints such as the way the hothead keeps his distance and the way Don and Raph shoot each other harsh yet silent conversations with their eyes tells the ever-observant Mikey that something is up. But then again, the youngest turtle can't get a good night's sleep without his brother..

_But what if Raph gets mad at me?_

_Wait, why would Raph be mad at me?_

_Why am I thinking like this in the first place?_

_Raph doesn't have a reason to be mad at me.._

_..right?_

Irritably shaking his head free of the suffocating thoughts, the orange clad turtle climbs out of his bed and stumbles towards the door. But that overwhelming feeling of doubt makes him pause just outside his bedroom, his body shivering in the cold of the lair.

What if he's not welcomed by his older brother?

Wait, no, of course he is going to be welcomed! Raph said so himself!

Well, maybe the red clad turtle didn't _verbally _say it out loud, but the kind gestures the older turtle has been displaying this week makes it very clear that Mikey can always go to him for help.

_Right?_

Smirking to himself for doubting his own family, Mikey soon arrives at the foot of Raph's door. It's a place of the lair he is far too familiar with and he can't help but feel as if this is wrong. He shouldn't need to be doing this every single night. He shouldn't need to be running for help every time some stupid hallucination taps into his mind. But nevertheless, as silently as he can, he twists the metal knob and pulls his body into the darkened room.

"Raph?" Mikey whispers out, shutting the door behind him just as silently as he opened it. "Raph, are you awake?"

A weary groan is all that responds to him, so Mikey chances a few steps towards the shadowy outline of his brother's sleeping figure.

"Raph?" he tries again.

The dim figure suddenly sits up, spinning around to meet the gaze of the awaiting brother. It's a natural reaction for the four turtles to be ready for anything, even at the break of dawn, but yet it still surprises the youngest turtle. Mikey almost winces at the abrupt hardness in the glowing green eyes.

"Mikey?" Raph grumbles with a rather annoyed acknowledgement. Mikey watches as his brother turns to look at the glowing green clock which rests on a bedside table. "It's almost four in the mornin', what are you doin'?"

The younger turtle shifts on his feet. "I-I couldn't sleep.. again.."

The guilt takes further hold of Mikey as Raph throws out a sigh and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. Swallowing tensely, the orange clad turtle nervously awaits the reaction from his older brother. It's either going to be relieving or unsupportive, and Mikey obviously has his hopes placed on the first. But it turns out to be neither.

"Did ya.. try meditating?" Raphael suggests, and Mikey shakes his head in regret.

"Yeah, I did, like, two times, but it didn't help at all," the youngest mumbles, massaging his hands as a sign of uneasiness. Why, he doesn't know. Raph is helping him right now and he should be happy for that. Right?

"You try reading?"

Mikey's lips squeeze into a tight line at the useless suggestion. This doesn't exactly feel therapeutic.

_Feels more like Raph not wanting to deal with me himself._

"I read almost half of all my comics…" the youngest manages to push out, trying his hardest to shake his head free of the doubtful thoughts as well as appear untroubled by his brother's futile attempts at comfort.

Yet the selfish thoughts return as soon as the silence sweeps over the two brothers. Mikey can't help but feel something close to an inwardly pain as he realizes that things used to be different between the two brothers. Raph actually gave effort in trying to help him instead of unintentionally pushing him away.

With that depressing thought bouncing in his head, Mikey intertwines his trembling fingers and sluggishly twiddles his thumbs, captured in the cynical prison of his exhausted mind.

_He doesn't want me here._

_I shouldn't be here._

_He doesn't want to help me._

_I shouldn't need help._

_He's not even trying to comfort me._

_I shouldn't need his comfort._

_He's –_

"Alright, fine," Raphael finally groans, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Mikey lets out a quiet sigh of relief as his mind has something else to focus on. But it's soon troubled again as his brother plainly states, "Let's go."

Mikey's head instantly furrows in confusion as his older brother stands and stretches out his tired limbs as if it's normal for him to be up and at em' at four in the morning. "Where are we going, exactly?"

"Just to play some video games," Raph explains, snatching up his red mask from the ground and securing it around his head. "If ya can't sleep, might as well do somethin' else with your time."

"Yeah, I guess, but don't you need to sleep for training in the morning...?" The words are barely out of his mouth before Mikey is forced to step aside to allow his brother through the doorway. Blinking in confusion as to why Raph is so.. _awake _so quickly, the orange clad turtle hesitantly trails his older brother to the common room. Something isn't right.

o-o-o

"Whoa, I didn't expect _you_ two to be the first ones up."

Raphael lowers his controller onto the couch he sits on and turns his head to be greeted by the unpleasing sight of his intelligent brother exiting his bedroom. It's rare that Donnie ever spent the night in anyplace else but his lab, but that's the last thing on Raph's rapidly swirling mind. Instead, brown eyes glare into emerald as the two brothers silently face off. But a whoop of joy from their baby brother crossing the virtual finish line breaks the heavy tension.

"He couldn't sleep again, so I thought we'd kill time," Raph finally accomplishes to explain through clenched teeth. Somehow, he manages to keep an overall solemn face even though the anger and exhaustion dance in his eyes. It's a damn miracle.

"Yeah dude, I've already beat this slow-poke eleven times in that new racing game we found!" Mikey intercepts, a wide beam spread across his face. Dramatically tossing the controller next to him, he throws his hands behind his head and closes his eyes in pride. "I'm just a natural."

"That's debatable," Raphael snaps, trying his hardest to keep his tone light as his baby brother tiredly grins widely at him. But it's hard to when a certain brother is monitoring his every move like a giant eye in the sky.

"Nice job, Mike," the said turtle praises, turning back towards his lab. But just as he does, Raph stands, leaving Mikey fall to the side as the weight of the couch is unbalanced.

"I need to talk to ya, Donnie. Right now," he growls suddenly. Don's eyes narrow in protest while his mouth opens with unsaid words of objection, but Raph was expecting that. The hothead tries to ignore the look of confusion Mikey shoots him as he storms across the floor and grasps Donnie's upper arm. Without hesitation, he half leads-half pulls the purple clad turtle into the lab and none too gently shuts the door behind them before pushing his younger brother in front of him.

Stumbling to regain his balance and rubbing at the sore spot on his arm, Don's ignited eyes reach up to meet Raph's. "What do you – what are you doing?"

"In case you didn't realize it yet, I'm fuckin' sick and tired of treatin' Mikey like the helpless little child he's acting like," Raph barks, seeming to tower over the scientist. "You need to hurry up with whatever the hell you're makin', 'cause I'm not puttin' up with this crap for much longer, Donnie!"

Don straightens up his posture at the harsh words and returns the steel glare he's receiving. "I am going as fast as I can, Raph," he dryly defends, eyes glinting dangerously. "Science does not work on a ticking clock. You can't just expect me to magically whip something up in two seconds flat!"

"Trust me, I've given you more than two damn seconds," Raph counters, the growl in his throat not suppressed in any way. "By this point, I don't even argue with the little shit when he's bustin' into my room to cry about whatever the hell he was dreamin' because I know it'll be useless!"

"So what are you trying to say, Raph?" Donnie abruptly questions, and Raphael's scowl goes deeper. "Are you saying that you're just going to give up on Mikey if I don't finish my experiment right when you please, your Majesty?"

"You're damn right I'm sayin' that." Donnie's facial expression briefly contorts to one of surprise before drifting back into anger. Raph bitterly glowers at this and continues; "You're supposed to be the smart one, but I guess I'll remind you: I need ta get some sleep of my own every once in a while!"

"You don't get to just pick and choose what you want to do all the time, Raph!" Donnie snaps, and Raphael notices he's struggling to keep his volume down. It's not until then that Raph realizes that the subject of their conversation is merely a few feet outside the doors, and his face slightly flushes as Donnie mutters, "Mikey is your little brother, and-!"

"-and it's so goddamn wrong of me to not want to help him at two in the fuckin' morning every single night of my life, right Donatello? Is that what _you're_ tellin' _me_?" Raph intensely growls, the usual gleam in his eyes growing a nasty shade of black as the tense seconds tick by. "I'm done makin' myself act fake just to help the little shit feel better!"

Donnie doesn't have time to respond before the door of the lab creaks open.

Raphael instantly freezes with his back to the door and Don dares to look over the hothead's shoulder with wide eyes.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

"Mikey," Don nervously breathes, backing away from the suddenly speechless Raph to better see his baby brother's head which pokes in through the slightly cracked door. The baby blue irises glance over the two turtles before flicking back to meet Donnie's apprehensive eyes.

"You okay, D?" Mikey questions, concern laced into his words. "You look like you just ate a squid or something.."

Raph swallows down the lump in his throat before relaxing his tense shoulders. His eyes flick over just in time to see Donnie's brown irises shrink back into a normal proportion. They don't have to say a word in order to understand one simple thought:

Thank the good sewers – Mikey hadn't heard them.

"Whaddya need, Mike?" Raphael plainly states, easily knocking out any hint of irritation or fury that previously lingered in his words. Turning around so he faces the orange-banded turtle, he sees Donnie shoot him a look, but Raph returns the favor before focusing on his baby brother again.

"Just wonderin' what you guys want for breakfast," Mikey mumbles, further poking in his head. "Pancakes okay?"

"That's fine with me, but did you ask Leo already?" Donnie inquires, and Raph can't help but notice the way the purple clad turtle looks like he's ready to bolt straight out the door. He can't blame him; the hothead feels the same way. They – no, no, _Raph _– had nearly gotten caught red-handed.

But that thought quickly disintegrates as a flash of worry dances in Mikey's eyes. A few seconds later, the youngest turtle quietly murmurs, "He didn't respond when I knocked on his door. I think something's wrong, dude.."

The all too familiar feeling of uneasiness flips Raph's stomach upside down, but just as he's about to pound Mikey with questions, Donnie interrupts.

"Well, why don't you go make the pancakes and I'll go ask Leo in a second," he suggests, earning a grateful smile to play on Mikey's lips again. "I need to talk to Raph for a few more seconds though. We'll be out in a second."

"'Kay," is all the acknowledgment Donnie receives before the metal door is pulled shut again.

In the silence that follows their baby brother's departure, Raph blankly watches as Donnie makes his way over to his desk and shuffles through a few vials of unidentifiable substances before lifting a single glass tube. Silently returning a few feet in front of the hothead, Don presents the vial to his brother.

Raphael grimaces in disgust at the oddly colored liquid held in the container. It looks heavy, thick, and utterly repulsive. It reminds him of when Mikey used to mix together all the colors of paint just to see what the outcome would be when they were younger. And don't even get him started on that nauseating smell. It almost brings tears to his eyes.

"This is all I have so far," Donnie finally begins, giving the vial a small spin between his thumb and forefinger. "It's almost done, but-"

"Yeah, that's great, but I really don't care," Raph interrupts, emitting a glare from his scientific brother. "I'll be fine as soon as ya finish it by today."

"Today?!" Donnie parrots, nearly tipping over the medicine he holds in his hand. He gently grasps the glass tube tighter before lowering it to his side. "I haven't even run any tests on it or see what the side effects may be or even figured out if it's _edible! _Plus it needs some time in the centrifuge before I can even think about testing it! I can't possibly finish it by today!"

Raph bitterly snorts at his brother's sudden outburst. "Guess Mikey will be having some good ol' nightmares tonight then, huh?"

"Raph, you need to be reasonable!" Donnie starkly demands. "You need to help Mikey and stop –!"

His words are cut off as the lab door slams behind the hothead. With much reluctance, the genius lifts up the vial into his line of sight and intently studies the disgusting liquid. He has no choice. If Raphael says he isn't going to do something, he won't. It's a well-known fact of the family.

Starting towards the small centrifuge, Donatello drops the vial into one of the numerous spots, closes the lid, and sets the timer for twenty minutes. He knows that it will only take the goofy yet insomniac family chef only half of that time.

But he has no choice.

o-o-o

"I got the food!" Mikey grins as he picks up a plate that rests on the kitchen table.

"I call drinks," Don cautiously continues, heading towards the cabinets.

"I'll get the forks and stuff," Raphael grumbles none too happily. The three brothers take their positions in the small kitchen.

But nothing comes from the leader. Raph glances over to his blue clad brother and instantly frowns in concern. It had taken a shell of a lot of coaxing to drag the eldest out of his room, and even now, Leo still looks as if World War III is raging inside of him as he sits quietly at the kitchen table. His eyes are cast downward, his fingers quietly drumming against the tabletop, his mouth set in a taut line. But before Raph can say anything about it, a familiar rat strolls into the kitchen.

"Good morning, my sons," Splinter warmly greets, giving a slight nod of acknowledgement.

All four turtles – including Leo – seem to straighten up at the simple greeting and respond reflexively, "Good morning, Sensei."

A familiarly gentle smile tugging the corners of Splinter's mouth, he routinely reaches the coffee machine and begins the morning process. As soon as his master is distracted, Raph quickly grabs the rest of the utensils and begins towards the table, making sure to come near Leo's seat first. He drops the fork and knife in front of his leader with a small clatter, hoping to break the empty trance Leonardo seems to be stuck in. But Leo makes no indication that he noticed.

Perplexed with his brother's somewhat infuriating behavior, Raph roughly shoulder bumps him before pulling out a chair beside the blue clad turtle and plopping down in it with a little more noise than necessary. Again, Leo doesn't even bother to look up; his eyes are fixed on the intricate designs of the wooden countertop in front of him.

"Yo, Fearless," Raph calls out, waving a three-fingered hand in front of his brother's dull irises. Finally, Leo blinks once or twice before raising his gaze. Raph frowns as their eyes briefly meet. "Anyone in that empty brain of yours?"

Instead of the sly remark Raph had been expecting, Leo only gently nods before settling back into the chair he sits in and drifting his empty stare back down to his lap. Raph groans in disbelief before flinging the rest of the utensils away with just enough precision so they land fairly near the three other placemats on the table. Wanting to think about something other than the odd behavior of his eldest brother, Raph focuses on the delectable morning aroma of the kitchen, making his stomach growl in protest.

"Hurry up, Chef, I'm starvin'," Raphael demands, not able to resist the temptation to glance at the leader's face just to make sure he's still breathing. Leo still doesn't move.

"Yeah, yeah," the youngest groans, "Just a _little_ more gravy aaaaaand… done!"

Juggling five plates in his hands, forearms, and head (which, of course, Raph does not approve of), the orange clad brother merrily skips over to where the hothead sits and gingerly sets down a plate consisting of bacon, gravy, eggs, and pancakes. Raphael resists the urge to dig in as he waits for the rest of his brothers and sensei to seat themselves as well. It's a rule of the mutated family, something that Raph thought was utterly and completely stupid. But it gets harder and harder to obey as the entire family eventually ends up waiting for the slow-poke Donatello.

The sai wielder heaves out a dramatically anxious sigh as he watches his purple-banded brother dart back and forth within the small kitchen. Don slowly fills one cup with refreshing orange juice then seems to "accidently" spill some over the side, apparently leaving the scientist with no choice but to dart to the other side of the counter, grab a towel, and clean it up. Then he starts on the second glass but is suddenly stopped short as he "unintentionally" knocks over the cup. If the stereotype of turtles being slow needed to be proved, Donnie would be the perfect example.

"Come oooon, D!" Mikey finally calls out, throwing his head back and raising his hands in the air. "I can practically feel my stomach eating away my insides!"

"Indeed, Donatello," Splinter adds, quirking a quizzical eyebrow. "Would you like some help, my son?"

Using this moment to stop his sluggish process once again, Donnie lowers the orange juice container and stutters, "W-What? No, it's okay, I got –"

_BeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeep…_

All five of the mutants briefly glance out the kitchen doorway before turning back to the genius with questioning eyes. Donnie gives them a small smile before continuing; "I should go get that. It'll just be a second.."

And with that, Don rushes out the door, leaving both Mikey and Raph to loudly groan in impatience. Even Splinter gently closes his eyes, trying to keep his suppressed annoyance under control. After a few moments, the incessant beeping sound ceases, plunging the entire lair into a silence that cannot go unnoticed. Mikey coughs, and as he catches Raph's attention, he glances at Leonardo and back to the red-banded turtle. The hothead's gaze follows his brother's and realizes the eldest hasn't moved once. As their eyes meet again, Mikey looks up at the second oldest pleadingly, but Raphael has no idea what to do. What _can_ he do?

But to Raph's great relief, Donnie strolls back into the kitchen, his face suddenly more unnaturally serious than ever. The hothead absentmindedly shakes his head instead of feeling concern.

_Why the shell is my family so goddamn weird.._

Briskly, the intelligent turtle increases his pace, filling all five glass cups without any further hesitation or resistance. Although Raph finds this sudden change of behavior peculiar, the rest of the family doesn't seem to notice; they're more focused on the fact that Donnie is finally seated and they are allowed to eat. Even Leo raised his sapphire eyes slightly as the rasp of the chair against the ground indicated that Don had joined them at the table.

The echoes of clinking forks and chewing mouths fill the empty silence of the room as the family digs in. Within seconds, Raph and Mikey's plates and cups are half empty while Donnie and Splinter take a more casual approach and Leo silently picks at the warm food. And a few seconds later, Raph is finished.

"Dang Raph," Mikey remarks in surprise. "When you said you were starving, I didn't know that you were _starving!"_

"Oh, sorry for the confusion, idiot," Raph sarcastically replies. It earns him a stiff look from his Sensei and the hothead immediately backs down. He would rather have an easy training session today, thank you very much.

"Speaking of confusion, what kind of drink is this, D?" The youngest lazily swirls his cup around in his hand, making the bright orange liquid slosh back and forth. He gives it a soft sniff and his beak crinkles. "It tastes like it has lemon or something in it, but it smells like onions."

Narrowing his eyes in puzzlement, Donnie raises his own glass as well and gives it a whiff. "Whoa," he gasps out, pulling the drink away from his face. "You're right, Mike. But it isn't expired or anything, so.."

"You sure?" Mikey questions. He takes another sip of the orange juice before setting the cup back down with an unsure gleam in his exhausted eyes.

Raph grunts in disbelief as his fingers reach out and clutch Mikey's glass, ignoring the small protest the youngest gives out. "Lemme see.."

_CRASH. _

_CLANG._

_CRACK._

Raph nearly drops the cup he was raising to his lips as he snaps his head around to gape wide-eyed at the purple clad turtle. Donatello, muttering inaudible words underneath his breath, slowly stands from his chair as he shakes off a few drops of orange juice that drip down his plastron. Mikey states something about butter fingers as Raphael irritably climbs out of his chair. The sai wielder takes note of the way Leo merely glances over his shoulder to take in the situation before becoming distant again. It makes the second eldest double back for a moment. Fearless usually takes control of any surprising situation, even something as minimal as this one.

Instead of pointing out his leader's behavior, Raph reaches for the paper towel roll and bitterly mutters, "Donnie, what the hell?"

The rhetorical question goes unanswered as expected, yet it still ticks the red clad turtle off. It always seems to be one thing after another with his brothers, and by this point, it's been getting out of hand. First the nightmares, then the infamous fight between him and Fearless, next the silent feud of the hothead and genius, and now this sudden mess caused by Donnie tops it all off with a cherry. Irritably ripping off a few pieces of the absorbent fabric and handing it to the dumbfounded scientist, Raph kneels down and begins to pick up the pieces of broken glass.

Donatello shakily wipes clean his sticky plastron and grimaces slightly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to.. erm, be careful, Raph, don't step on the glass.."

"What's with you, D?" Mikey demands although his voice is light and playful. Raph looks up to his purple-banded brother at the question, hoping to receive an answer as well. But the only response the family gets is the strange way Donnie looks over the youngest before kneeling down to help Raphael.

"Donatello," Splinter inquires from somewhere above them, "is something troubling you? Are you feeling well?"

"Yeah," Don breathes out so quietly that Raph is almost certain Splinter didn't hear him.

Disturbed, Raphael momentarily stops and regards his brother with such intensity that Donnie seems to flinch away. After a few moments, the hothead quietly whispers, "What's wrong?"

And just as Donnie shakes his head, a second crash makes the two brothers jump and a body falls to the floor.

* * *

**A/N**

**Such a long chapter, oh my heavens.**

**Does it sound rushed at some parts? If so, I am so terribly sorry. I have failed you.**

**And I know that Splinter is not mentioned very often, but that's because 1) I suck at writing him and 2) he will be playing a larger part in the near future. I hope.**

**Until next time!**


	10. Betrayed, Part II

**A/N**

**Dreams ahoy!**

* * *

_He's lying on the floor._

_That's the first thing he realizes as he wearily pulls himself onto his knees and briefly scans the small, empty, and purely white room around him._

_The second thing he notices is the open book lying in the center of his imprisoning room._

_His head cocked in puzzlement, he shakily pulls himself onto his feet only to fall back down again as a rush a pain stabs through him._

_"Ow ow ow, my head, geez," he murmurs to himself. Understanding that getting on his feet is no longer an option, he slowly crawls to the book. His baby blue irises flash in confusion._

_It's pages are blank._

_He quizzically flips through a few of them before giving up and further investigating the peculiar room._

_There's nothing in the area with him except the empty book and a small light bulb that hangs from the ceiling. There's no door, no window. Just him._

_And he nearly jumps out of his shell when the sound echoes throughout the room._

o-o-o

"Mikey!"

Raphael is by his brother's side with a swiftness Splinter wishes he displayed during training. As gently as he can, he carefully picks off the shattered pieces of the plate which fell on the unconscious turtle when the table flipped over. However, his drugged brother gives no indication of his presence, making the heartbeat of the red clad turtle pick up in speed. Cautiously, he pulls Mikey's head onto his lap and feels for a pulse. He sighs in relief as soft throbbing thrums underneath his fingertips.

"W-What's wrong with him?" Raphael nearly falls backwards at his older brother's voice. Leonardo hasn't spoken for days. Even if he has, the rest of the family wouldn't know because he stayed locked in his gloomy room all day. But instead of feeling relief that his brother is finally opening up, anger dangerously swells within the hothead. There's only one person who is guilty of this.

"Why don't we have the genius of the family explain?" Raph bitterly spits. He spins around to confront the suspect of the crime, but to his great surprise, Donatello is nowhere to be found. "Where the hell…"

His question dies in his throat as Splinter slides out of his chair at the table and kneels next to the youngest turtle. "Raphael," he begins, running a soft hand over Michelangelo's forehead. He frowns. "Bring him to his bedroom. We cannot leave him on the floor in this condition. I will find Donatello and have him come to tend to Michelangelo at once."

"Hai, Sensei." Raph easily scoops up his food-splattered brother and bolts out the kitchen. Along the way to Mikey's room, his narrowed eyes scan the lair before they land on the slightly-cracked lab door. It still softly creaks as if it was just recently shut. The hothead takes note of that fact before swinging open the bedroom door, storming across the cluttered floor, and gently laying his slumbering bundle on the bed. Mikey despairingly moans and his slack mouth faintly falls open.

Raphael anxiously nudges the turtle's side. "Mike," he softly demands, poking harder. "Wake up. Come on, wake up."

The only response he receives is a muffled groan and the closed eyelids squeezing together harder. His short patience deteriorating, the hothead takes hold of Michelangelo's limp shoulders and gently yet firmly shakes him harder.

"Come on. Get up," he commands without a hint of softness. Although his voice comes out cold, the overwhelming feelings of distress and fear twirl and mix inside his stomach. Trying to push it down as far as it can go, he gives another brief shake before reluctantly lying the body back down on the mattress. Silently, he studies his beloved brother with as much concern as he can muster up.

Mikey's face is harshly pale, contrasting nicely with the fluffy white pillow propping up his head. His breathing is rugged and uneven as if he had run a marathon while in reality, he just lifelessly dropped to the floor. His sudden dead weight even managed to tip the table, but luckily, no one was on the side it crashed on because two particular turtles were cleaning up Don's mess. Raph doesn't hold back the protective growl in his throat. "What the hell did he do to you, Mike…"

Suddenly, Raphael feels the presence of the new person in the room rather than sees it. At first, he only glances over his shoulder. Then, as he fully takes in who stands in the doorway, he whips around with a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

o-o-o

_The book._

_It's flipping it's own pages._

_Mikey scrambles backwards, staring at the possessed object with wide, alarmed eyes._

_Then, just as soon as it started – it stops. It's back to the first page that the book originally started on before the youngest turtle had flipped through it._

_"What the shell?" he whispers, tightening his hands into fists and digging his nails into the palm of his hand._

_It's the red marking on the page that finally catches his eye._

_He knows he shouldn't look. He knows he shouldn't be moving closer to it. But he's drawn to it against his own will. He hardly tries to struggle against the abnormal force pushing him towards it._

_And when he's finally reading the poorly etched words that reek of blood, he knows he should've fought back harder against the strange temptation._

**_DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU._**

o-o-o

"Get the fuck out, Leo!"

"Raphael, he's my brother too. Besides, Sensei is talking to Donnie right now, so I have nowhere else to go even if I wanted to. Why are you –"

"Don't you dare ask why I'm bein' like this, Fearless!" Raph barks. He takes a threatening step towards the eldest, but Leonardo doesn't falter underneath his steely gaze. "You know damn well why I'm upset!"

Leo takes a step further into the room, challenging his brother without the presence of spoken words. "No, Raph, I don't. What is your problem?"

"_My_ problem?" the hothead demands, jutting a sharp finger into his own plastron before directing it towards Leo. "Why don't you answer your own damn question? What the hell's been wrong with _you_?!"

Leonardo's eyes abruptly flicker with too many emotions to process at once. Raph grinds his teeth in irritation. "Nothing," the leader practically whispers although his gaze never leaves his brother's. "I've just been meditating more often recently."

"You're such an awful fuckin' liar, ya know that?" Raph presses. He takes a step closer to his brother until their head to head, their eyes narrowing and hardening within the close vicinity of their faces. Without any sort of mercy, he jabs a calloused finger into Leonardo's hard plastron. "So tell me, what's really been making you such an asshole?"

"Stop now, Raphael," Leo growls.

Raph scoffs and lowers his finger. "News flash: you ain't Splinter. You can't tell me what to do."

"I am your leader, and as leader, I am tel –"

"See, that's where you're wrong," Raphael coldly spits. When his brother's eye ridge raises in subtle confusion, he continues; "You're leader out _there_." He juts the finger that he used to jab his older brother to the open doorway behind them. "In _here_, you're just like me: a fifteen year old teenage mutant who has the world continuously hunting his ass down and, if you haven't noticed, a younger brother who is layin' half dead right in front of you at the damn moment! I don't know about you, but I think that it's a pretty fuckin' big deal."

With that, Leo seems to back away a few inches. Giving a growl mixed with triumph and his everlasting anger, Raph turns around and once again tends to his baby brother.

"God dammit," the red-banded turtle growls mostly to himself after a few silent moments, reaching a large finger towards Mikey's neck to check for a pulse a second time. Even though he feels relief flood into him at his brother's soft heartbeat, the seething anger for all his pain-in-the-ass brothers overrides it. "First Mikey, then Donnie, and now you? Un-fucking-believable."

He hears Leo step closer to him. "Wait, what's wrong with you and Donnie?"

Raphael almost laughs out loud at the enraging question. "What isn't wrong with us, is probably a better question." Mikey suddenly shudders before Leonardo has a chance to respond and a strained noise escapes from his throat, making Raph inwardly cringe. "Shit… I had told the idiot to finish the medicine by today, but damn, I didn't think the heartless nitwit would actually... forcefully drug Mikey!"

"I didn't," a new, shaky voice breathes out. Raphael's body tenses. "If anything, this is your fault, Raph."

o-o-o

_He reads the scrawled words three, four, five times over, and each time sends a dark shiver down his trembling spine._

_He squeezes his eyes shut, blocking out the eerie, blood-red sentence._

_But it floats behind his eyelids._

**_DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU._**

**_DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU._**

**_DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU._**

_"Stop it, stop!" he wails out, flinging his wild eyes back open. His petrified gaze lands on the book, and he gags on the fear in his throat. There's something new on the page._

**_DON'T LOOK AT HIM._**

_Heavy blood stains surround the sentence._

_His heart pounding like a drum, he cradles his head in his hands and rocks back and forth on the cold ground._

_There's no one here but him._

_There's no one here but him._

_There's no one he can look at._

_He just won't look up._

_It'll be easy. This is easy._

_Then he hears it;_

_The staggering footsteps behind him._

_His efforts to contain himself screech to a stop just like his heart._

_"Mikey, Mikey, please, look at me. Help me, please."_

_Raph._

o-o-o

Emerald eyes swirl with a chocolate gaze with such intensity, Leonardo considers stepping between his brothers before something truly awful happens. But he's too late.

"Wait, could you put that by me again, dumbass?" Raph demands, his voice going from steely cold to uncontrollably shaky with unnamed emotions. "Let me just make sure I heard that right."

Donnie shuffles on his feet before standing tall again. "We both know it's true, Raph," he quietly states although his eyes hold as much stubbornness as the confused leader. "If you had actually tried to help Mikey, then I wouldn't have had to make that intensely strong, and if I even have to say it, unpredictable medication for him!"

"But guess who did make the medicine for him in the end, Donnie! Was it me?" Raph irritably waits for a response, but none comes. "Exactly. If you were really the angel during all of this, you wouldn't have slipped it into his drink!"

"Tell me what I was supposed to do, Raph!" Donatello cries out. "You threatened to let him suffer if I didn't do it, so what other option did I have?!"

Leonardo's hard gaze snaps to Raphael with the multiple questions and accusations swimming in the icy blue pools.

Raphael rolls his own eyes, biting the inside of his cheek to help wane some of the growing anger. It doesn't work. "First of all," he sharply snaps, "he isn't 'suffering', so stop bein' dramatic just to get Fearless on your side. Second of all, if you would've dropped out of that damn idiotic state you were in durin' breakfast, you probably could've thought things through!"

"Did it ever occur to you that you could be laying next to Mikey right now if it weren't for me?" Don counters, his line of eyesight lessening as his brown irises narrow. "For your information, dropping my glass wasn't exactly just a regular Donnie-Is-A-Fuck-Up move.."

Leo's sapphire eyes widens in utter shock. His intelligent sibling, stained with years of honor and peace, never dared to even whisper such an unpleasant word – until now, at least. However, as it causes Leo's breath to be stolen away from his own chest, it only adds fuel to the burning inferno inside Raphael. But that's not to say the red clad turtle is not completely thrown off as well.

Letting out a bitter and breathy chuckle in the heavy silence, Donnie crosses his arms lightly over his plastron, somewhat proud for knowing he has put his hotheaded brother in such a dumbfounded state. "Although, now that I think about it, it wouldn't have been so bad to let you have a taste of it. Maybe it would've made things a whole lot easier for the entire family, Raph."

And with that, Raphael steps closer and takes a swing.

* * *

**A/N**

**So, all that waiting, and I give you _this? _I know, I'm disgusted with myself. But with my volleyball club season starting up and school being, well, school, it'll only get harder. **

**Anywho, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter in the end. Hopefully. Fingers crossed.**

**Reviews are welcomed(:**


	11. Panic

**A/N**

**Here, before you do anything, let me just say it for you: I suck.**

**Haha, but really, I'm so terribly sorry for no updates for the past couple of weeks (and even a month for Book of Memories D:).**

**I managed to post a few one-shots over the days and I hope that kinda held you over. Sorta. Maybe.**

**Yeah, okay, I need to shut up. Enjoy.**

* * *

_"I'm begging you Raph, please, leave me alone!"_

_The youngest's cries go unheard. An irritating stray tear is swiped away as Mikey hugs his knees tighter to his chest. He can practically feel the hot breath of his brother on the back of his exposed neck, and it makes his blurry vision focus heavily on the open book in front of him._

**_DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU._**

**_DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU._**

**_DON'T LOOK AT HIM._**

**_DON'T LOOK AT HIM._**

_The crimson words are etched over and over again, written as if the author had been hurried. Mikey stares at them harder, pleading for an explanation._

_But he receives none._

_He only hears the ragged breathing of his brother behind him._

_"Mikey, please, we need to go! Now!"_

**_DON'T LOOK AT HIM._**

_"Stop!" Michelangelo sobs, burying his head into his knees. "You're not Raph! G-Go away!"_

_"Mikey –" A hand is put on the petrified turtle's shoulder and Mikey swiftly uncurls from his ball, pushing the book behind him as he crawls away with panic._

_"Don't touch me!"_

_He hears the figure behind him move closer, and more tears stream down Mikey's cheeks. _

_More than anything, he wants to turn around and fall into his brother, knowing that as soon as he does, he's safe._

_But he can't look. He can't look._

**_DON'T LOOK AT HIM._**

_"Stop doing this, Michelangelo! We need to go before they get back! I don't kno–!"_

_SHLSH._

_Mikey's breath hitches as an unbearably strangled cry cuts off Raphael's sentence. It's followed by a heavily sputtering cough. A drop of red splatters next to him._

_SHLSH._

_He begins to turn around in sheer panic._

_But something stops him._

_The book. It's back in front of him._

**_DON'T LOOK AT HIM._**

_SHLSH._

o-o-o

"Raphael! _Stop, now!"_

Raph sees nothing but clouds. He hears his brother yelping underneath him, but he doesn't care. He can't find it in him to stop moving his fist, to stop digging his knees into the figure beneath him, to stop pummeling harder when a cry of pain reaches his ears. However, he does seem to quickly register the strong force attempting to pull him off his helpless target.

"Get your fuckin' hands offa me, Fearless, or I swear to God –!"

A grunt escapes him as the hothead is suddenly thrown backwards, landing hard on his shell. Red painting his vision, Raph is soon back up on his feet with his hands ready for another strike. He is not letting Donatello get away this time. He is not a helpless little kid on a school playground getting beat up by a bully. He is not letting Donatello walk away without a fight.

"Raph! _Stop_!" Leo barks again. Raphael doesn't lower his shaking fists as he glares back at the leader. Warily, Leo creates a barrier between the two turtles as he kneels next to his moaning brother, never taking his cautious eyes off the fuming hothead beside him. "Donnie, open your eyes. Look at me. Focus."

"Don't you dare fuckin' baby him, Leo!" Raph bitterly spits, stepping closer to the two brothers on the ground. "He's a goddamn _asshole! _You have no clue what the hell he's put me through!"

Donatello groggily blinks open his eyes and after a few moments, finds the ability to stare into Raph's.

"The hell?" he roughly parrots, wiping a drop of fresh blood from the corner of his mouth with a wince. Throwing his pain to the back of his mind, Don glares at Raph. "I only made you _act_ like a rational brother for once – because God knows you can't feel any emotion other than anger – and you're saying that it was complete _hell _for you?!"

Raphael steps closer with a fire in his eyes, but Leo suddenly stands and meets him head-on. The two don't budge underneath one another, and soon enough, it's another infamous battle between the competitive brothers.

"We are done here, Raphael," the leader finally growls through clenched teeth. Raph's entire body goes rigid at the challenging tone. Leo is not going to win. Not this time.

"You don't get to pick n' choose when you want to become part of this family, Leo!" Raphael nearly shouts. "You wanna be so damn reclusive and refuse to talk to anyone? Fine – but don't expect to turn around and have everyone at your goddamn feet again!"

Silence.

Raphael smirks and wordlessly dares Leo to move closer, to fight back, to throw the first punch, to… to give an explanation why he has been acting like this…

Grabbing Donnie's arm, Leo unknowingly denies Raph's curiosity as he shakes his head in the heavy silence and slowly stands up as to not rush his injured brother. "Don, we're gonna get you some ice, okay?"

Donatello mutters a response Raph isn't able to catch, but it doesn't matter. He can't possibly hear anything over the boiling blood that's rushing through his ears. Nothing matters except for the fact that they are both leaving him alone with his terrifyingly unconscious baby brother. Something he can't explain pounds deep into his gut, and suddenly, he's breathless.

And before he knows it, Raphael is storming after them, ready to grab Leonardo by the shoulder and spin him back around to further debate his point –

– only to be stopped by the piercing tip of a blade directly between his eyes.

Raph screeches to a wide-eyed halt and shoots a bewildered look to his older brother over the glint of sharpened metal. Even Donnie momentarily stops wiping the blood from his mouth to look at the leader for an explanation.

Leo doesn't even blink. The only movement he makes is the ragged rising and falling of his chest as he breathes. The air of the room is far too heavy for four turtles' worth of breathing capability, yet Raphael seems to manage as well. Barely.

"You _will _stay here, Raphael." Leonardo's voice is cold steel with no room for normality. Raphael has only heard this tone a handful of times. His Fearless Leader is livid. "And Splinter _will _be here to discuss your…" He looks Raph over, "… attitude."

Raph suddenly can't find the willpower to respond underneath his brother's threatening weapon, so he rather speaks with his eyes as he and Leo sink into a staring contest. Neither of them falter in their defensive stances, leaving the deadly sword planted directly between the red clad turtle's eyes. The two eldest hold that position until their bones creak with stiffness, afraid that if they are the one to move first, they will be submitting to their enemy.

That is something Raphael cannot afford. And it's also something Leonardo won't tolerate.

That is until Donatello breathes out a particularly ragged breath and nearly falls out of Leo's helping hand, making the deadly silent ninjas break their glare and return to their attention to the bigger problems at hand. Slowly, Leo sheathes his weapon and pulls his scientific brother upright. No longer having the urge to put his hotheaded brother back in his place, the leader centers all his attention to the genius turtle as he gently whispers commands and asks simple questions to keep Donatello conscious. They don't need two brothers lying lifeless on the ground while another is practically teetering off the edge of infuriated insanity.

And if Leo had one wish, it would be that Raphael would put his overwhelming fury away in the dusty corners of his mind and rather be the helpful brother Leonardo needs him to be. And that, he reluctantly decides, will not be happening soon.

But unknown to him, Raphael is watching the entire time. And had Leo found the courage to turn around, he would have seen the smallest mixture of realization and utter guilt consume Raph's eyes.

Instead, the room shudders as the door slams behind his two brothers, and Raphael is frozen to the ground.

o-o-o

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_He flinches every time. He knows what that sound is._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_He's heard it far too many times throughout his life._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_"Get your fuckin' hands offa me, Fearless, or I swear to God –!"_

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_It's the sound of tearing, ripping, severing flesh._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_"Stop!"_

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_Crimson is pooling everywhere around him. _

_The agonizing screams are piercing his ears._

_The echoes of metal fervently slitting through skin bounce off the walls._

**_DON'T TURN AROUND._**

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_He's crying – sobbing – and so is Raphael._

_"Leo, s-stop! Why are you – ANNGN FUCK!"_

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_The pages of the book are turning again. He hardly notices. _

_He feels something warm splatter on his shell. A shriek accompanies it._

_He hears someone laugh._

_Leo._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_His foggy vision focuses._

_They focus on the two deadly sharp throwing stars that lay in the center of the page._

_There are crimson words above them._

_He tries to look away, but he can't._

_His body won't allow him._

_He reads._

**_KILL THE KILLER_**

**_AND SAVE YOUR BROTHER._**

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

o-o-o

"RAPH!"

He nearly jumps out of his shell. Shaken from his self-pitying trance, Raphael rushes to his brother's side and squeezes Mikey's upper arm in a futile attempt to awake him. The youngest whimpers underneath the rough touch and it makes Raph frown heavily. Mikey is always a touchy-feely person. Why is he backing away now?

"Mikey, Mike, it's me right here," Raph pleads and he instantly grimaces. Why does he sound so desperate?

"Stop L-Leo, _STOP!" _Michelangelo abruptly screams, thrashing out of his brother's grasp and clutching at the pillow underneath his head as he hastily rolls onto his plastron. With widened eyes, Raph studies his petrified brother for a few seconds. Why is Mikey dreaming about Leo again?

Mikey suddenly spasms, and Raphael attempts to reach out again as his brotherly instincts come into play. Without warning, the orange-banded turtle squeezes into a tight, trembling ball, backing away from Raph's comforting hand without even cracking open his eyes. Being a ninja that is aware of his every surrounding (even in sleep) has it's perks, but in Raph's case, it only makes things more complicated.

_"I can't! I w-won't!"_

Raphael bends down to his knees, getting to eye level with his hysterically quaking (and from what he can tell, hyperventilating) baby brother. Craning his neck to peer at his baby brother's paling face, Raph feels a sudden emotion rush over him. He can't put his finger on it. He just knows it's there.

"Mike," he coarsely whispers through the other turtle's incessant whimpering, "Shhh. You gotta listen to me, okay? Do you hear me?"

The orange clad turtle writhes in unseen agony, clutching the pillow with white knuckles as his eyes squeeze impossibly tighter. "Pl-Please!"

Raphael slightly shakes his head in disapproval. There's that feeling again. "No, Mikey, you have to try. I can't make you wake up, and... I can't make you fall asleep either." He shakes his head again, but this time, mostly to himself. He lets out a long breath that is hinted with guilt. "It's all you. Give me somethin' – show me that you're trying."

"I'm _sorry_! I'm s-sorry, please!"

"Sorry for what?"

"L-Leo, please, _please!"_

"Mikey –"

"_PLEA –!"_

Then to Raph's great and utter horror, Mikey lies dead still. No groaning, no harsh breathing, no crying out – nothing.

And Raphael realizes that the emotion was panic. And it's stronger than he ever felt before.

He ignores the sound of his name as he desperately begins to shake his limp baby brother.

_Panic._

* * *

**A/N**

**I pinky swear on my life that I will update a whole lot sooner.**

**Reviews are welcomed(:**


	12. Glinting

**A/N**

**Okay so apparently I suck at pinky swears. I guess I'm going to lose my life. Whoops.**

* * *

"Leonardo, go get Donatello."

"Hai, Sensei… Donnie! Don, get over here! Mikey is…"

The voice trails off.

"Raphael, what had happened to Michelangelo?"

Silence.

"What – Leo, slow down, I can't… Mikey what? Ow, my mouth..."

" – didn't wake up! Raph was supposed to be watching him!"

"You left them _alone? _Ouch. I thought you said Sensei was going to come as soon as - ow! - we left to get the ice!"

"I did come, Donatello; just not quick enough."

"I-It's okay, Sensei, I can just run a few simple tests on him…"

"He's still alive, Donnie. He just not… waking up."

"That's not giving me much of a lead, Leo!"

"Well what do you want from me? Raph is the one who was here with him!"

"Blame does not make the situation any easier, Leonardo."

"S-Sorry, Sensei."

Silence.

"His pulse seems to be steady. It's a little fast, but nothing to be concerned about. His breathing is a bit ragged, though. It's almost as if he's... ngh, my face... as if he's exhausted, but all he's been doing is sleeping, right?"

"I… I don't know. Raph?"

The sounds blurs around the hothead in somewhat meaningless sentences. He can still feel the cold touch of his baby brother's skin against his fingertips as he was desperately attempting to shake him awake. It hadn't worked.

In fact, Mikey only seemed to get worse.

"Raph."

Something touches his shoulder and Raph abruptly shifts in the beanbag he was sitting in to hide his jump of surprise. Pulling his unwilling eyes upwards, the red clad turtle is greeted by the displeasing sight of steel blue irises staring into his.

Shrugging off his brother's hand, Raphael growls, "What?"

"I'm not your enemy, Raph," Leo firmly states. The demanding tone in his voice makes the hothead seethe with anger. Leo has no right to be acting like this. Actually, he doesn't even deserve to be in this room. Yet here he is.

Taking the presence of his father into consideration, Raph simply asks with much agitation, "What do you want?"

"What happened?" Donnie responds in place of Leo as he checks Mikey's pulse for a second time. Raph briefly glances at the paling figure of his unconscious brother which Donatello is standing over before directing his gaze elsewhere. He doesn't want to see Donnie's bruised body nor the lifeless figure of Mikey. Out of sight, out of mind. That's how it's supposed to go, right?

"He was havin' another nightmare," Raphael bluntly explains. When Donnie turns to raise a questioning eye ridge at him, the hothead sighs with much exasperation. "He was screaming his head off about Leo and then he just stopped. Just like that. Nothin' else."

"Me?" Leonardo asks, crossing his arms over his plastron. "Why me?"

"Sorry, I didn't take the time to ask my terrified, unconscious brother why he was dreamin' about you, Fearless," Raph sneers, his patience wearing dangerously thin. But instead of snapping back of him, Raphael is surprised to see Leo set his mouth in a tight line and focus his attention back to their baby brother.

Yeah, something is wrong.

"Leo, could you go grab a cold towel for him?" Donnie questions as he runs a gentle hand over Mikey's forehead. "He feels a bit warm now. I think it'll help him relax."

Leo wordlessly nods before swiftly walking out the door to carry out Don's orders. The tense silence of the room bears down heavily on Raph as he watches the scientist fumble over Mikey with too many medical instruments to count. A thermometer is popped into the youngest's mouth while Donnie lifts an unwilling eyelid to study the pupil.

Raphael runs a tired hand over the side of his face, his eyes closing in unexplainable exhaustion. However, his mind is busily occupied with questions he would much rather not think about.

But one particular thought stands out above all:

_Why was Mikey apologizing?_

It's a stupid, petty question yet the sai-wielder can't seem to chase it away. It bounces around in his head along with the absurd reasons as to why the youngest had been begging for forgiveness. Each and every one of his explanations gets thrown into the hothead's mental trash bin, leaving him more confused by the second. It's almost as if confusion is all he can feel at this point. Scratch that; a hint of dread is greedily gnawing away at his sanity as well.

"Got it," Leo abruptly stated as he broke through Raph's thoughts. The leader strolled through the doorway and tossed the white rag towards the busy Doctor Donnie, who surprisingly caught it without even glancing up from his patient. The amount of focus and complete calmness radiating from his intelligent brother leaves Raph baffled. How can anyone with a normal mind be so composed in a situation such as this?

Carefully placing the soaked cloth over Mikey's forehead, Donatello quietly murmurs, "That should somewhat help with his rising temperatures. We'll need to replace - ouch - i-it every ten minutes or so, and if that doesn't work, he probably needs to be placed in an ice bath."

"Very well, Donatello," Splinter agrees, and Raph looks up as the wise rat strides closer to Mikey. Placing a comforting hand on the orange clad turtle's shoulder, he miserably adds, "Hopefully Michelangelo wakes soon. I do believe he is struggling, but this is an inner battle that we cannot interfere with at the moment."

With that, Raph dares to fully glance at his baby brother.

His heart almost completely disappears as he absorbs the sight of Mikey's scrunched, pained face. If he didn't know any better, Raph would almost say that it looks as if the goofiest brother of the family is silently… sobbing. He would be the first to know; Mikey has come to him in tears several times over the past few days.

And with much regret, Raph realizes that having the little jokester waking him up at three in the morning isn't such a bad option. Not when this current situation is the dreadful alternative.

o-o-o

_SHLSH. _

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

**_KILL THE KILLER…_**

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_"Stop Leo! Fuck! Mikey, help me!"_

**_...AND SAVE YOUR BROTHER._**

_SHLSH._

_SHSLH._

_SHLSH._

_Glinting._

_The throwing stars are glinting in his eyes._

_His scattered tears are glinting on the ground._

_His foggy irises are glinting with utter dread._

_But the throwing stars are glinting even brighter._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_SHLSH._

_THUD._

_"Please… Leo…"_

_Raph's voice is getting weaker. Mikey screams; yelling; pleading for Leo to stop._

_SHLSH._

_He reaches for the two weapons. He nearly drops it as a result of his hysterically shaking hand._

_SHLSH._

**_DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU._**

_SHLSH._

**_DON'T TURN AROUND._**

_SHLSH._

**_DON'T LOOK AT HIM._**

_SHLSH._

**_KILL THE KILLER._**

_SHLSH. _

**_SAVE YOUR BROTHER._**

_SHLSH. _

_He turns around._

_"Finally." Leo._

_A bloodied katana is shoved into the back of Raphael's throat –_

_at the same time as the two throwing stars head for Leo's._

_Leo's blood is glinting._

_It's brighter than the dual weapons imbedded inside his windpipe._

_Mikey catches the eldest's limp body before it hits the ground._

_The crimson of his two brothers are magnificently glinting in the dim lights of the room._

o-o-o

"But _why, _Sensei? Why wouldn't you?"

Raph teeters his elbows on his knees and rests his head in his palms. He doesn't have the guts to look Splinter in the eyes, even if the old rat is standing directly in front of him. He already knows the dark irises will be filled with disappointment and blame. The fact that they are boring into the top of his head isn't helping the situation either. But with closer observation, Raph realizes that they wouldn't even _be _in this 'situation' in the first place if he would've just… if he hadn't been… if…

Raphael swallows the lump in his throat and continues when Splinter doesn't answer. "If-If you heard him _every single night, _why didn't you come and help him yourself?"

"Because, Raphael," Splinter gently replies, resting a palm on the hothead's shoulder, "I knew you and your brothers had the situation under control. The four of you do not take situations lightly when it comes to your wellbeing. I knew the three of you – Donatello, Leonardo, and you, Raphael – would take care of Michelangelo when he was in need of your help."

If you ask him, Raph could personally use a little 'help' from his brothers at the moment as well. Being cornered by Splinter doesn't exactly place the cherry on top, especially when the wise rat urgently shoos away the entire family to lecture the misbehaving turtle, such as what happened today.

No, that's not entirely true. Mikey's still there. Well, halfway there.

"But, Master," Raph meekly begins and mentally curses his wobbly voice. Clearing his throat, he tries again. "I wasn't… I couldn't help him. Sure, he fell asleep every now and then but he's still all twitchy and uptight. And now…" Briefly lifting his head, Raphael suggestively gestures towards his comatose brother, unable to find the words to define the current muck the entire family is stuck in.

Splinter faintly nods, picking up on Raph's helpless hints. "The important thing, my son, is that you tried. You gave Michelangelo your all, and the fact that you were not able to help him should not put weight on your shoulders."

Suddenly it felt as if Raph swallowed a rock. He blatantly attempts to direct his gaze anyplace else than his Sensei's eyes. If _that_ isn't downright obvious, the hefty silence that follows makes Splinter raise an eye ridge and scan over his hasty son.

A few tense, drawn out moments tick by before Splinter simply adds, "And if you did not, then I am sure you have learned from your past mistakes."

Raphael still doesn't acknowledge the additional sentence. He rather drifts his indecipherable eyes towards his baby brother's limp body. A few tear stains trailing down Mikey's cheeks wrenches Raph's heart straight from his body and he hopelessly sighs as he rests his head back in his hands.

Yes, he _has_ learned his lesson. In fact, it's going to scar him for the rest of his life. He'll never be able to completely forgive himself for his selfish actions. Maybe a certain brother of his won't either.

And that's when Mikey stirred, turned his head, and weakly murmured his name.

* * *

**A/N**

**EXPLANATION TIME AS TO WHERE THE HELL I HAVE BEEN: **

**There has been a lot going on recently in my personal life. I won't go into detail considering that it's a total sob story but let's just say that my roller coaster isn't exactly going up right now, my friend (hehe, John Green!). With that being said, any updates on my stories will be entirely sporadic. But, to make up for it, me and my new found friend (whoa, I made a friend? Is this real life?) have been brainstorming this great little plot bunny. Maybe that story will be released soon. Who knows by this point...**

**Until next time ~ **


	13. Please, Die

**A/N**

**Hm. Mixed emotions about this chapter...**

* * *

Never, _never _in his life has he ever been so joyous to see those mischievously shining eyes staring back at him. Normally, those soft blue pools shot multiple warnings over and over again, urging the hotheaded turtle to take cover and run from whatever monstrosity Dr. Prankenstein was about to unleash. But no; no this time is different. This time, those eyes are reaching out for help instead of seeking for another prank victim. Raph can't help but surrender to the unspoken cry of anguish.

"Mikey." He's by his brother's side quicker than a flash of lightning, kneeling on the floor to get to eye level with his suffering sibling. But to his great confusion, Mikey doesn't seem to notice; the youngest turtle looks dead ahead as if seeing through Raphael's body. Pushing that puzzling thought to the bottom of his List of Worries, Raph hurriedly adds, "H-How –"

"I will go retrieve Donatello. Keep him conscious," Splinter advises before swiftly disappearing out the bedroom doorway. Raph hardly even notices he's gone; all his limited attention is focused on his raggedly breathing brotherly form in front of him.

"Mikey, how are y-you… awake?" Raphael manages to push out through his tightly gnashed teeth. His unconscious brother was supposed to be knocked out for who-knows-how-long, not a mere… what has it been, three hours? Maybe two? Possibly even mere minutes considering the frantic state of mind the hothead has been in. But even if Raph doesn't know the exact time Mikey is supposed to be asleep, he knows that it definitely would last longer than _this_. Donnie certainly wasted his time making that rushed sample of medicinal liquid if it only lasts a few hours at most.

Mikey groans and blinks once, twice, three times, shattering through Raphael's confused thoughts. His baby blue eyes seem unfocused, as if the weary turtle is staring straight through his own eyelids every time he blinks and the objects in front of him when he manages to keep his eyes open. Finally, staring blankly into Raphael's eyes, the youngest turtle manages to weakly murmur, "Killed."

Now it's Raph's turn to repeatedly blink in utter confusion. Mikey pays no attention to the red-banded turtle's puzzlement; instead, he continues to eerily gaze into the emerald eyes in front of him, completely unaware to the world around him. And for some damned reason, it makes Raphael's stomach do plenty of backflips.

"Killed?" Raph reiterates, his eyes never leaving his brother's even though Mikey's blank irises look as though they are possessed. Pushing the unnerving feeling away from the edges of his mind, Raph continues. "What does that mean?"

Abruptly, Mikey starts shivering. The tremors that rock the youngest's body are not subtle; rather they appear as if Mikey has been dumped unceremoniously into a pile of snow. Reacting quickly, Raph pulls off the white washcloth that was lying on his baby brother's forehead and grimaces at the freezing temperature at the fabric. So much for that ice bath Donnie was suggesting. Tossing it aside, the hothead replaces the cloth on Mikey's forehead with the back of his hand, feeling the heat of his brother's body. To his great dismay, Mikey's skin is completely ice cold.

_How? _Raphael wonders as he pulls up the bed sheets to Mikey's shoulders, frowning as his fingers accidently come in contact with the frozen skin as he does so. _He was just burnin' up a few seconds ago…_

"K-Killed… you…" Mikey abruptly gasps out, the violent shuddering never hesitating in the slightest. With that eerie sentence, Raph puts a consoling hand on Mikey's shoulder, his deep unease showing itself in the creases that line the sai-wielder's forehead. Something's not right.

"I… I don't know what that means, Mike. You gotta help me out here," Raph urges. The hint of panic swirls in the back of his mind again, but he forcefully shoves it back down through the hole it climbed out of. He needs to stay cool and collected, not wild and insane.

Michelangelo makes no indication that he heard his older brother. Instead, his body and his voice are viciously rocked as another rough shiver courses through him. "I-I… Leo… killed…"

"Mikey, look at me. Are you listening?"

"Leo…"

"Leo's just fine; he's with Don and they're comin' right now, okay?"

"L –"

A strangled cry interrupts Mikey's steady mantra, and a few tears escape the glassy blue orbs as Raph hopelessly watches his baby brother break out into sudden sobs. However, Mikey's eyes continue to stare dead into Raph's, and the red flags in the back of the hothead's mind frantically wave again and again, momentarily overshadowing any sympathy he might have for his baby brother.

Something isn't right. No, of _course _something isn't right, but something else is going on that the hothead just can't seem to place his finger on. What is it…

The ongoing river of tears overflow and spill out of Mikey's eyes for the umpteenth time, and that's when realization slaps Raph hard in the face. Mikey isn't blinking. Not once.

o-o-o

_It's not ending – oh god, it's not ending._

_The dream. It's not stopping. He knows he's dreaming by this point, he _knows _he is._

_Leo's gasping, sputtering, wheezing, _dying_ in his blood-covered arms, and the dream isn't ending._

_Raph's crimson life force is pooling around his knees and oh god the dream isn't ending._

_Everything is cold; the sticky liquid he's covered in, the sudden air drafts sweeping across his body, the freezing touch of Leo's dying skin, the continuous tears rolling down his face, and the dream is refusing to end._

_He doesn't realize he's shaking until Leo's writhing body is sliding off his lap as a result of his trembling body and the dream still isn't ending._

_Leo's head weakly falls backwards, and the leader coughs up a gory piece of his inner throat and oh _god_ the dream is not ending._

_"Die Leo, _please!_" he begs because there is nothing left to do because the dream is _still not ending.

_Leonardo continues to suffer, reaching up with limp hands to cover his slashed throat as he violently spasms. Mikey leans over to put his head on his older brother's plastron as he rocks with violent shudders of horror. Wrapping his arms around his gore-covered leader, his tears mix with the dark crimson, but the dream still isn't ending._

_"Please, Leo… j-just di-die…"_

_"_It told you not to look._" Raphael. No, no, no –!_

_No, Raph's body is over there and he's still dead because the dream isn't ending. He can't be talking, he can't –_

_"_And now, you killed us both._"_

_No, don't listen to him, he's wrong. _

_Mikey couldn't have – there was no other – he had to kill… kill… he –_

_"I killed Leo," he whispers against his victim's writhing body. Blood that doesn't belong to him seeps into his mouth, but he doesn't care. "I killed Leo."_

_The dream doesn't end._

o-o-o

He waves a frantic hand in front of the pale, tear-streaked, and oddly silent face, but there is no response whatsoever.

"Mikey, _look at me_. At least fucking blink, goddammit," Raphael firmly states, his voice coming damn close to a growl. His brother's ignorance is quickly becoming a gallon of gasoline slowly dripping into Raph's blazing fire of anger. In one second, Mikey is violently sobbing as he goes on and on about someone or _something_ being killed, and then in the next second, he's deadly quiet? What the hell is wrong with him?

Raph is instantaneously aware of someone approaching even before the words are spoken to him. His body instantly becomes rigid as he awaits the inevitable accusations that will flow his way once more. But to his great relief and utter confusion, no one mentions his horrid screw-ups – yet.

"Raph, is he still awake?" Donatello's voice demands as the scientist kneels beside Raphael and pulls out his small medical box. The red clad turtle tries to ignore a small hint of blood at the corner of Donatello's mouth, but is entirely unsuccessful. The spot of red seems to scream out to him that this is all his fault, that this would not be happening if he hadn't been so stubborn, that he can't do anything to fix this even if he tries. But finally, he finds his shaky voice.

"I-I don't know. He's not –"

"What do you mean you _don't know_?" Leonardo demands as he comes to a stop beside Donnie. Icy blue eyes glare into emerald as the two brothers face off – again. "He's either awake or asleep, Raphael. Which is it?"

"Y'know Leo, if I were you, I'd take a fuckin' step backwards," Raph warns, his voice instantly going from calm to seething fury. He doesn't know if his suggestion meant for Leo to figuratively or mentally give him some space, but either way would work at this point. Even the minor, disapproving glance from Splinter doesn't waver his offensive language.

Leo's steely eyes never wander from Raphael's as he responds. "What do you have against me, Raphael? I have done nothing to make you upset."

"That's the problem!" Raph exclaims, standing as he points a sharp finger near Leo's plastron. If it weren't for Donnie's body as a barrier between the two, Raphael would have been in breathing distance of his leader's face. "You haven't done _anything! _If it weren't for all of this shit happening with Mikey, you'd still be locked up in your room doing whatever the hell you were doin' for the past week!"

"Raph, you have no ide –"

"Would you two save this conversation for a better time and place?" Donnie suddenly interrupts, and the two feuding turtles momentarily tear their sharp gazes away from one another to turn their attention back to Mikey and the substituted doctor. Donnie's eyes are narrowed in confusion as he shines a small flashlight in Michelangelo's pupils, studying the foggy irises.

"Raph has a reason to be confused this time, Leo," Donnie quietly adds as he clicks the flashlight off. Raph can't hide the smirk that seeps onto his face as his intelligent brother takes his side, and Leo can't help but sizzle in fury at the smug expression on the hothead's face. However, Donatello couldn't care less about his two feuding brothers when there are bigger problems at hand. "Mikey's eyes are wide open, but he's _freezing_."

Just to assure his claim is true, Donnie puts a gentle hand on his baby brother's shoulder and instantly recoils from the heat-deprived skin. "H-He feels like a block of ice, no doubt about it. It's your body's natural instinct to wake up if you're too warm or cold while sleeping, but he's not… he's not responding to anything."

Hesitantly, the purple clad turtle raises his hand in front of Mikey's stiff face and insistently snaps his fingers. The small, clicking noise generating from Donnie's fingers echoes throughout the otherwise silent room, seeming to ignite the fact that there is certainly something wrong with Michelangelo. As expected, the youngest doesn't even budge nor blink underneath the suggestive gesture. All three family members present in the bedroom frown deeper at the failure of response.

"What does this mean, Donatello?" Splinter inquires from behind his sons. But before Don can reply, Leo comes to a sudden realization.

"Are you saying he's… still sleeping?" Leo incredulously asks, his unreadable sapphire eyes glued directly onto his seemingly unconscious brother.

Donatello sits back on his heels and shakes his head. "There's no other explanation. Unless of course, Mikey's just ignoring us, but that's highly unlikely. I would think he likes the attention, even if he's on the doorstep of death; that's just how he is." Sighing heavily, the intelligent turtle rubs the side of his head as a sign of unease. "But in all honesty, I would be even _more _surprised if Mikey did wake up. The medicine he took was unpredictable; it could last for days but –"

"Days?!" Raph repeats, his mouth briefly dropping in disbelief. "What the hell, Donnie? How is Mikey supposed to eat and drink and shit?"

"If you would let me finish," Don continues, shooting a sharp look towards the hothead through a cloud of unknown emotions in his eyes, "you would know that I don't think it'll get _that_ bad. My guess is that it will either last for a few more hours or, at the most, a day or two. Nothing too life-threatening. I designed the medicine to only give Mikey the amount of sleep he has been missing, not for him to go into a lifelong coma."

"Although he may be able to go a few days without food, Michelangelo is going to require some water," Splinter says, placing a supportive hand on Donnie's slouched and guilt-weighed shoulder. "Do you have a plan for that?"

Meekly, Don shakes his head in an approving gesture. "Yes. I have an old IV I can clean up and plug in if we absolutely need it, but I hope he'll wake up before it comes to that…"

"Don't we all," Raphael bitterly snaps, crossing his arms as he gazes down at his suffering baby brother. Although his heart threatens to snap at the sound of the creaking bed as a result of Mikey's violent shivering, he keeps his face neutral. A face full of emotions would only attract more negative attention towards him. He doesn't exactly need good ol' Fearless lecturing him about the string of screw-ups he's made unless absolutely necessary.

"So what can we do?" Leonardo questions after many moments of silence. Donnie hesitantly licks his lips before getting on his feet and pulling away from the bed with reluctance.

"Nothing. We just have to wait it out. I'll go get the IV just in case," he quietly states, reaching out one last time to comfortably pat Mikey's trembling leg. However, he doesn't move for a long while; instead, as his hand rests comfortably on Mikey's leg, he seems to soak in the pale figure of his shattered baby brother. Raph dares to glance up into his brother's soft brown eyes, but quickly looks away in pain as far too many emotions flicker through Donnie's irises. At last, the intelligent turtle quietly adds, "A-And, I'm… I'm sorry, Mikey. All of you, in fact."

Just before Donnie leaves the tense atmosphere of the bedroom, Raph swears he sees his intelligent brother flash him an extra look of remorse before disappearing in the doorway. No, he's mistaken; he didn't see that. Donnie has no reason to feel guilty for anything, therefore he couldn't have just given Raph _that_ look. It should be the other way around. Solemnly, the hothead guides his gaze back to his quaking brother and vaguely shakes his head for a second time.

_This is all so fucked up. Dammit, Mikey…_

Many awkward silent moments pass before Raph heavily swallows and turns to face his remaining family. "I'll watch him for today just in case somethin' goes wrong." At the doubtful look Raph receives from his leader, he begrudgingly adds, "I'll call if anything goes wrong, alright? But until that happens, you don't need be a mother-hen, Fearless."

Leonardo's features tighten at the harsh nickname, but Raphael can see the utmost strength keeping the oldest from lashing out at him. Instead, after a few quick calming breaths later, Leo stiffly nods.

"Very well," Splinter quietly agrees as he gives the hothead a reassuring yet slightly shaky smile. "Watch him closely."

"Hai, Sensei," Raph firmly replies before turning back to his patient. He waits until the gentle squeaking of the bedroom door announces his brother and father's departure before letting out the breath he had been holding. Pulling up a long-forgotten chair that rested in the corner of the room, he exhaustedly plops into it and rests his elbows onto the bedside, letting his head fall into the palms of his hands in defeat.

o-o-o

_"I-I killed… killed Leo…"_


End file.
